So things got pretty awkward a few days ago during the Miss Universe pageant when host Steve Harvey forgot how to read. It was tough to watch, right up there with the boob punch in Superbad and that scene from About A Boy when Hugh Grant and the little English kid sing “Killing me softly” on stage. I hated that so, so much.
But sure, hosting an awards show, I can imagine, is no easy feat. Especially when you’re surrounded by the most beautiful (and smart, lol I gotchu) young leaders in America and you’ve got to stand out there for a couple of hours with no podium to hide your boner. I don’t think you girls understand what that pressure is like. I remember popping one (strong) in my U.S. History class right before it was my turn to explain what “separate but equal means” and it was literally equivalent to rolling face at Ultra. I couldn’t see 2 inches in front of me. But I could see 9 if you know what I mean, haha, hit me up.
Anyways, it was a huge mistake and the Internet did what the Internet does and ripped Steve a new butthole. It’s not like Steve was asked to run around the stage the whole night, singing and dancing like we saw from Neil Patrick Harris at the Oscars last year. True, Steve Harvey isn’t a gay white man, but the point is, he delivered a pretty lackluster performance, consisting of a few too many sexist jokes and unfortunately stole the show from Miss Philippines at the end. So, if you feel bad about the meme explosion, don’t, he’s getting paid and he’ll be fine. Enjoy.
And message me privately if you’d like some closure on the separate but equal discussion, I’ve got that shit down.
SHOW ME MISS COLOMBIA! pic.twitter.com/3o7aw3u4t5
— Ryan Nanni (@celebrityhottub) December 21, 2015
When your direct deposit hits… Then your automatic bill pay kicks in. pic.twitter.com/O5HOlRkh8b
— En Sabah Nurr (@EnSabahNurr) December 21, 2015