You Don’t Even Go Here: 5 Posers We Found At ‘Made In America’

It was a beautiful day in sunny Philadelphia.

Beautiful and chaotic.

What I mean by that is, imagine your entire high school sprawled out throughout a tiny venue. People in mosh pits, people on the ground, people in trees (trying to get a better view obviously), people on people.

As you can picture, Made In America was a jungle. Get ready.

Although it was sweltering hot, that didn’t stop the fans from waiting around for the big time artists.

Heat+humidity+thousands of people = forgotten words.

Here are five types of people who shouted the wrong lyrics and where they can be found:

1. Wiggers

A wigger is “a white person who tries to emulate or acquire cultural behavior and tastes attributed to African Americans.” During Travis Scott’s performance, you can find these people in every corner. Watching the white people in the crowd mumble the “n” word as they scream the rest of the lyrics was nothing but shameful.

The wrong words being sang in “Antidote”:

Incorrect lyrics: “Fucking Cheerios and TV, I don’t do no hoe hoes, my god that’s oh no, she just want the aeee*mumbling I just want the nero”

Correct lyrics: “Fucked three hoes I met this week. I don’t do no old hoes. My nigga, that’s a no no. she just want the coco, I just want dinero.”

You can find these people in mosh pits or groups jumping and bobbing their heads as if it’s a rock show. You can even find some random guy in a tree swinging back n forth trying to get the lyrics right. The worst was probably when he was singing his new album and the whole crowd attempted to guess the lyrics…that was bad.


2. Amateurs

Hey we’ve all had a few too many drinks but to be unconscious in the middle of the field mumbling some bullshit to A$AP Ferg is a little uncalled for. These people were the ones with the vodka-filled water bottles trying to twerk and imitate the lyrics at the same time.

The wrong words being sang in “Shabba”:

Incorrect lyrics: “Sha-shabba ranks, sha shabba ranks, with my gold chains like im sha shabba ranks, one gold booth like a sha shabba ran”

Correct lyrics: “Sha-shabba ranks, sha-shabba ranks, eight gold rights like im sha-shabba ranks, one gold tooth”

These people were a little too excited and unprepared for this festival. You can find these people laying in the middle of the field with their cheap sunglasses on and an open wound on their forearm. Or they’re passed out on the side of the road with their undergarment exposed, drenched in sweat. The ones who are easily confused and offended. The ones shrieking at the top of their lungs.

The comical part is that none of this behavior is drug induced, they are truly having the best time.


3. Frat bro

Those guys who think their ballin and act like G’s but didn’t even know the words to “What We Do” by Freeway, Jay-Z and Beans during DJ Khaled’s set.

The wrong words being sang in “What We Do”:

Incorrect lyrics: “Ay, lets get free, oh never lacking man, zippin’ in the back man”

Correct lyrics: “MANG lemme get em free, Hove never slackin’ mang, zippin’ in the black range.”

These are the dudes grouped in a mass of sweat and neon that looks like the human manifestation of MDMA. Watch these dudes walking around the beer tent, putting out those “mature vibes.” And creating a force field-not letting anyone who isn’t worthy inside their tight, sweaty circle.


4. Hipster

The ones who thought they were “too cool” to let anyone get by them in the crowd, with their aviators on and red bandanas. Rihanna exposed the fake hipsters.

The wrong words being sang in “Needed Me”:

Incorrect lyrics: “You been going around, I’ve been lighting up, break it down, shit was never rough”

Correct lyrics: “You been rollin’ around, shit I’m rollin’ up, light and roll it up, break it down like a pound, shit was never us”

These people are the ones who will stand as close as they possibly could to your ears, talking about some bullshit until THEIR SONG comes on, at which point they will “WOOO” at the top of their lungs and scream along in their own way disregarding everyone else in the crowd because they’re “Hipsters” and do their own thing.


5. Attention whore

The girls who spent hours on their Merica’ colored outfits, being sloppy and all over the place.

The wrong words being sang in Chance the Rapper’s “No Problem”:

Incorrect lyrics: “One more person tryna stop me, I been in the kitchen with the lobby”

Correct lyrics: if one more label try to stop me its gon’ be some dreadhead niggas in ya lobby”

These people will show off at every opportunity given. These girls can be found climbing the railings and on dudes’ shoulders and will likely inconvenience everyone within a 15-foot radius.

Honey, I know you’re really into this artist and so am I, but I think you should chill. I hope your vocal chords will be fine tomorrow, but I know my eardrums will not.

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