“Long distance relationship.”
A dreaded phrase. The three words that describe the predicament a cruel universe heartlessly forces upon a couple by tearing them apart and scattering them across the country or even globe. No matter the relationship, a long distance relationship (LDR) can test even the strongest bonds, forcing couples to reassess the strength and future of their lives together.
Lack of sex for extended periods of time leaves the most prudent individuals thirstier than a vagabond in the Sahara, dying for anything to quench their dryness (thank you Pornhub BTW). Yet the physical disconnect becomes emotional as well. The mere thought of being hundreds, if not thousands of miles away mentally… wait, who am I kidding? The hardest part of an LDR is the impossibility of getting your freak on.
However, albeit no sexy-time, there is hope. Compared to a few decades, hell even a few years ago, maintaining an LDR is now easier than ever.
LDRs of the Past
First, let us look at LDR’s of the past in order to set a comparative benchmark to understand how good we have it today. Backtrack 100 years ago, the year is 1916 and a young beautiful couple that closely mirrors you and your boyfriend get the news that one of you has received a job elsewhere. You decide to stay in touch and promise to write one another. Write one another.
Raise your hand if you even know how to send a letter. Keep your hand raised if you know where the closest post office is.
Today, it’s baffling to think it’s possible to have a conversation where you have to say everything at once (when I text, I’m out here double, triple, and quadruple texting like its going out of style).
Letters would take weeks to get to their destination… that means you couldn’t just chat about the bagel you ate for lunch or a cute puppy you saw on the street. Your words were limited to the finite amount of time you wanted to spend writing a letter before your hand cramped up and forced you to stop.
But who are we kidding to think that like dirty text messages, dirty letters were not commonplace among these couples. After all, biology is biology regardless of century, and at some point carnal desire takes over. Even so, there’s something about writing a multi-page erotic letter and then smiling at a retirement aged postal worker as you send it that makes the whole process lose some of its luster.
Moral of the story: couples today have it easy. Now that’s established, here a few more reasons why:
Without FaceTime, who knows how many couples would have crumbled under the pressure of LDRs by now. The fact that you’re not only able to talk to your significant other, but see them, makes all the difference. It brings intimacy to a whole new level, and I’ve found that when you are finally able to see that person in real life (IRL), it’s like you were hardly apart because you were able to interact with their smile everyday. But one of the biggest perks of FaceTime is one that LDR couples may be hard-pressed to tell you about… FaceTime sex.
Obviously there’s no P to V penetration going on, or any penetration for that matter, but veteran LDR couples know how to work their camera angles like Spielberg and engage in dirtier dialogue than Tarantino in order to reach their mini-movie climax. At first it may seem awkward, but again, lack of sex has led individuals into more desperate situations.
Convenient and Cheap Transportation
Planes, trains, and automobiles. The options for couples today are nearly endless. Plus, if planned far enough in advance, the cost for a ticket can be affordable for most couples, especially if the fare is split. Planes are the most drastic option, but many lucky couples find themselves only a few hours away. In this case, driving or taking a bus is the best option. Gas is cheaper than it’s been in years, making a roadtrip affordable (make sure you have an aux chord for long trips), and Megabus offers cheap fares across the United States starting as low as ONE DOLLAR.
Being in an LDR is easier than ever. So next time you’re moping around, bummed out about being so far away from your significant other, just think about couples of the past and how hard it was for them. Obviously, this sentiment alone is not enough to immediately alleviate a bad mood, but luckily in 2016 we have these crazy things called iPhones and the internet that are able to transcend any distance and help you see your boo.