I was shoving chips and salsa down my throat at a Mexican restaurant with my family when a waiter shortly approached us to take our drink orders. My dad tried asking ,“what light beers do you have?” The seemingly deaf waiter responded, “Pina Colada?” My dad shot him a confused look and it honestly seemed like a lifetime before they were finally on the same page. After the misunderstanding was resolved and my dad ordered, I said, “I’d like a Diet Coke please.” The waiter responded, “Is Diet Pepsi okay?” Utterly disappointed, I replied, “Is monopoly money okay?”
Ok, I didn’t actually say that, but I should have. Seriously, Pepsi and Coke taste nothing alike. Why do restaurants think they can manipulate us to settle for something that we don’t actually want? You shouldn’t have to settle for Diet Pepsi when what you really want is Diet Coke.
Diet Pepsi and Diet Coke are like penises and vaginas.
“I’d like a penis, please.”
“Is a vagina okay?”
No, sir. Not quite.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a snob when a waiter comes over to ask me if Diet Pepsi is okay (I’m obviously a Diet Coke enthusiast by the way.) I frequently find myself politely saying “sure” because it’s the next best thing. But when you really think about it, why are we always settling for the next best thing?
Whoever said you can’t always get what you want obviously did not try hard enough. Whoever that person may be is blantantly average and there is nothing more unattractive than mediocrity. If you don’t believe me, just ask Kylie Jenner and her fresh lip injections. Her real lips were just too, like, average, ya know?
Why should we have to settle for something we don’t really want? Everyone in this world should be straightforward about what it is they have and what it is they desire. Life is like a game of cards and if we all lay them out at the same time, we can develop a better understanding of each other. We shouldn’t limit ourselves to the next best thing.
Moral of the story, never ever settle, because life is too short for anything less.
That being said, that Mexican restaurant should hang an enormous sign indicating they solely serve Pepsi.