I’m not sure if you have been living under a rock for the past week, but in an attempt to spice up our lives, the Spice Girls are apparently gearing up for a reunion tour… sans Posh.
Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Beckham, is way too busy paying people to design her mediocre fashion line, which makes her unable to join the rest of the broke members of Spice Girls for what could possibly be the best reunion tour of all time.
In reality, all she would have to do is throw on a “little Gucci dress” and stand on stage. The rest of the members could slip her a Xanax, turn off her mic and attach her to a few puppet strings, which would make her just as thrilling as she was during their original tours.
The real reason why Posh will not be joining the tour is unknown, but I am sure it has something to do with the fact that she is busy bottling the tears of 90s babies so she can use them to stay hydrated during her long nights cutting checks to the actual designers behind her fashion line.
Posh, all we want is for you to “Say You’ll Be There.”