I think people misunderstand the term ‘introvert.’ It’s not about being shy or quiet (which aren’t bad things); it’s more the feeling that you need to be alone when you’ve been around people for a long time. An introvert can be some of the loudest and talkative people you meet, it’s just that being among people is quite exhausting for us.
The winter can be hard for everyone: dragging yourself outside in the frozen temperatures, seeing the sunset at 4:30 p.m., and dealing with the suffocating heat in your 350-square-foot apartment.
The winter is even harder for introverts, who, even when it’s 70 degrees and sunny, can hardly drag themselves out of bed.
The season we are entering into now is especially tough and we have to try even harder than usual to be social. So, in celebration of the winter season, I thought I’d make a little situational guide for everyone who really don’t understand the struggle. This is my every day life.
It’s Friday, 5 p.m. At the office. All of the executives have left and the fridge just happens to be full of alcohol.
Coworker: “So what are your plans for the weekend?”
Me: “Who knows?” (But really, I know. I’m not leaving the house).
Coworker: “Cool, well text me after work and let me know what you’re doing!”
Me: “Great, sounds good!”
Me: (Gets home and immediately puts phone on silent).
It’s Saturday morning. I check my phone and there is a message from a friend.
Friend: It’s a beautiful day out! How about we get brunch and check out that new exhibit in Chelsea? Then we can walk to highline and stop by the new bar that opened up on the West Side. My friend is having a birthday party as well! We can grab dinner then swing by for a few drinks.
Me: (Immediately turns off phone and goes back to bed)
It’s a beautiful day and I’m out, talking to my friend.
Me: Yeah, I’m super excited! I can’t wait to go home and watch TV.
Friend: But it’s a beautiful day out!
Me: Okay, but I still want to go home.
Friend: Are you sick?
Me: No, I just want to go home.
Friend: Are you tired?
Me: No, I just want to go home.
Friend: Do you not have enough money to go out?
Me: What did I just say??
I make dinner plans with coworkers Thursday after work.
Friend: Okay, let’s go to dinner.
(Arrive at restaurant).
Friend: Looks like this restaurant has a 45-minute wait.
Me: (Screams internally).
Friend: Let’s get drinks before.
Me: (Cries on the inside). Can’t we just go somewhere else?
Friend: Yeah, but I thought maybe we’d go meet some people out after we eat.
Me: (Passes out).
Side note: If I say I’m going out with you for dinner, I don’t want to have dinner and drinks, or dinner then a walk, or pre-dinner drinks then dinner. I just want to have dinner then go home.
I’m tired of people telling me I’m antisocial, or I’m acting like an old lady, or I should be more lively. I am none of these things. Being around people is exhausting. Having me suck it up, hang out for 10 minutes longer, or get one more drink is not an option. When I’m done, I’m done. I wish more people could understand it. It’s not something I can help, it’s not something I even necessarily like, and it’s not something I can change. It’s how I am and if we’re going to be friends, it’s something you have to get used to.
Editor’s Note: Curious where you stand as an introvert or extrovert? Check out the free Jung Typology Test, which will help tell you your personality type.