What It’s Like To Be ‘The Pregnant One’ In Your Friend Group

Marien Richardson
Marien is a Brooklyn, NY native, hailing from the hard-knock streets of Park Slope. While earning her degree in Communications from American University, Marien got some real-life schooling as a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory. After college she swiftly returned to NYC and has been working as an events coordinator for over 3 years. As the daughter of two New York journalists, writing was always an innate skill for Marien. Her mix of compassion and sarcasm make for a fun and compelling read.

So, it was you. You were the first one in your group of friends to bite the bullet and get impregnated. You’re the first pancake, the test for which all of your peers can stare at. Like the early adopters of the iPhone, you have no idea what you’re really in for, and you’re sure to encounter some unforeseen complications along the way. Being “the pregnant one” in a group of fast-paced millennials is an adventure, one that changes the course of life drastically in sometimes the most stressful but beautiful ways. Here’s how:


Your Social Life

Wait, what’s that again? Yeah, I won’t lie. Your social life is going to suffer. But truthfully, it’s not as bad as you might think. Being pregnant doesn’t mean your life is over. It just means things are going to have to take a backseat for a bit.

Don’t worry, your FOMO won’t be as severe as you think. One reason is because you just don’t really feel like doing anything anyway. Your exhaustion sets the tone for how much you want to party during your pregnancy, which is as little as possible. The thought of getting dressed up, finding a pair of shoes that doesn’t make you cry after 20 minutes, and then forcing yourself to be around drunk people while completely sober is not a good time.

Though, I found that being pregnant made me find other things to do with my friends. I’ve been to more street fairs, picnics, zoos, movies, etc. in the past eight months than I have in years. It’s been good to remember a life without late night partying, and I’m sure that when I finally do return to girl’s night out, it’ll be amazing. Try to remember that while you are pregnant, your other 20something friends are just on a different path than you are right now. But we all get there someday.



As the woman, I’ll admit that it’s hard being the one who is physically going through pregnancy. You can easily start to resent your partner for staying fit while you feel like a beach whale, or get irrationally jealous if he enjoys a beer at the barbeque while you sip your lemon water. The hardest part is understanding his desire to do things that you may not be able to do anymore. You want him to stay home with you and your pregnancy laziness but you’ve got to be fair and considerate when necessary.

Pregnancy is a very trying time on any relationship, regardless of how long you’ve been together. The most important thing to remember during your pregnancy as a 20some is that you are both learning as you go. This is the first time either of you have dealt with the hormones, mood swings, late night food cravings, financial stresses, and serious questions about what type of parents you want to be. There is a lot going on in both of your lives, but remember that you’re in this together and there’s no reason to tackle this alone.



In our twenties, most of us are starting to define who we are professionally. We’re in the throes of landing that dream job, or venturing out on our own as entrepreneurs. Getting pregnant during this period of development can be terrifying.

But it can also be inspirational. Learning that you’re going to have a tiny human to care for in a few short months makes you really evaluate your life and everything about it. For me, this meant leaving my job in my second trimester. I realized that I was just not happy working for someone else, and the stress wasn’t worth it for me. I decided to focus my skills elsewhere, rather than report to work daily.

There are millions of working mothers with successful careers. Don’t stress about your career path while pregnant. Instead, educate yourself on the laws regarding employment of pregnant women and mothers. Know your rights and make the choice that works for your growing family. There are so many successful mamas out there proving that it can be done. It’s not easy, but it’s far from impossible.

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