Every day I wake up with a new dream. Every day I change my ambitions, at least to some degree. Some days, I give up. And then some days I have a dose of inspiration in the shower and I know I can achieve the beasts that I call my goals.
So some days I’ll knock off the to-do list that took days to make, and some days I’ll just sit and watch Netflix, knowing it’s not getting me any closer to the Forbes 30 under 30. I’m an endless contradiction of fear and excitement, but I love the paradox.
Even the most passionate people need to breathe a little, need to live a little, need a glass of wine and nothing to do. Even the most relaxed people need something to rile them up, to excite them to their core, and to raise their expectations.
To me, the bigger the dream, the better. So what if it changes by the week? So what if it changes by the hour? Sometimes daydreaming is the best part of it all. Sometimes it’s the dreaming that eventually pushes you into the reality.
So I’m a little bit crazy, irrational, and I can’t make up my mind for the life of me. But I love love, and I love the world. I want to see it all, I want to feel it all, and I want to tell everyone about it. I want my name to be synonymous with “dreamer.”
I think the fact that I’m planning my next vacation instead of my next date is okay. I think the fact that I’m planning my rise on the corporate ladder instead of buying a house with a ladder is okay, too. I think it’s okay that I’m focusing on my dreams first.
I want a lot, and I’d love it now, but I also know the journey will be the best part. I also know I’m willing to bust my ass to get it all. I am looking forward to the bruises, the rejections and the self doubt along the way. It’s worth the reward I could have.
Every day I wake up with a new dream and it’s always better than the day before. It’s scarier, and it’s the fear the fuels me. It’s the terror that makes me smile when I’ve gotten just one step closer. It’s the bliss you feel that moment of “yeah, I can make it.”
And I can. And so can you. But are you ready to?
Sure I’m ready to fall in love, but I’m more ready to make a difference in this world. I’m more ready to collect the stars than to just reach for them. I’m more ready to make my own luck rather than test it. I’m ready to be the person I’ve been becoming.
I dream and I change, I falter and I rise. I’m an endless contradiction of fear and excitement, but I love the paradox. Have you ever felt this way? That your dreams are just so big that you need that pint of ice cream to process it all? Me too.
That’s okay. It’s okay that your dreams are what frighten you when you sleep because it’s also was excites you when you wake. It’s okay that your dreams are what sometimes hold you back because they’re the same things that move you forward.
It’s okay to feel insane. It’s okay to feel a little out of place. It’s okay to look up at the sky and think “what next?” Just as long as you sometimes look up and remember to think “what now?” Because it’s the now that decides the later.
So I dream big, and I know I’ll dream bigger. I know I’ll get there, but I’ll probably zigzag and trip on my way there. I’m looking forward to the adventure. I’m looking forward to never letting myself be stationary. I’m looking forward to waking up within a dream, and I know there’s always more to imagine.
So it’s okay that I’m writing this as a single, 20something, confused and maybe even a little tipsy off of the wine I had. It’s okay because this 20something will be more than just “something” when the time comes.
Or maybe, just maybe, the time is now.