I wonder if I already know you. I wonder if I might know you on the surface, but have no idea that underneath your physical façade is everything I’ve ever been looking for. I wonder if I might know you, but not really know you at all.
I wonder if I know your name, but don’t realize that mine will one-day end with yours. I wonder if someday I’ll have a nickname for you. I wonder if I’ve said it before, nonchalantly, and I wonder if I’ll say it one day at the end of an aisle.
I wonder if we’ve talked before. Maybe we talked about school, our jobs, the drink in our hands, or some ridiculously funny story. I wonder if we’ve talked and I didn’t know that you’d end up being the only person I couldn’t live without talking to.
I wonder if you’re right in front of me, but we are either too blind or stupid to see. I wonder if you’ve been there all along, and I have yet to really notice you. I wonder if I’m missing out on numbered days with you before I even know that I could be.
I wonder if it’s him, or him, or maybe even him. Yet it’s probably none of them. It’s probably the person I would least expect. It’s honestly probably someone I haven’t even met yet. But it might be. It could be. It could be somebody right under me.
But what if it’s not. What if it’s the person I ran past on the street today? What if it’s the person I cut off yesterday? What if it’s the person I would’ve met but my flight got delayed? What if the sun comes out of the clouds and I squint and miss you?
What if you’re a stranger and I miss meeting you? What would I do then? What if I am circling for ages for fate to find a way for us to meet? What if I’ve already lost you, met you, and what if I never do? What then?
What if I’m not looking the moment that you come, and what if I am, but get too scared to smile? What if I’ve already smiled at you a hundred times, but neither of us thought anything of it? What if we never find our way to us?
I guess I might know you. I guess I might not. I guess I have to just trust in destiny and trust in my own heart. I can wonder for the rest of my life or I can live it until I meet you. I can play the guessing game or I can go out to find the answers.
I can wonder and I can dream, but it’d be far better to wake up in a world superior to my imagination. I can doubt and I can worry, but it’d be far better to wake up in a world happy with whatever is coming to me.
I can rack my brain with possibilities, missed connections, and future prospects but I’ll miss out on right now. Right now, I’m simply living, as I should. I’m turning into the person you’ll one day love. Right now, I need to grow to deserve you.
You’ll find me, I’m sure of it, and I’ll find you. We may both be lost, but one day we’ll be lost on our way to forever together. And until that day comes I won’t waste it daydreaming and worrying. Until that comes, I’ll be living.