I have long suspected that I was psychic — ever since I predicted that the guy in high school that I had a crush on would never like me back (and ohhhh boy, was I right). Thus, I’ve decided to use my psychic abilities for the greater good and help people find their perfect TV show, based on the tried and trued tested method of …the horoscope.
Aries have a lot of passion and pent up emotion, according to Neptune’s orbit around Mars’ second moon on the 28th every 76 years. Watch The Walking Dead, and appreciate the catharsis of slaughtering zombies.
Like the bull, Taurus are leaders, not followers. They will go after whatever everyone else is chasing after. Thus, you like shows that were last year’s phenomenon. Check out Breaking Bad.
Geminis are represented by twins. You know what show loves doubles? Pretty Little Liars, which has so many cases of mistaken identity, twins, lies, and double lives that it’s basically now the ugly twin of its’ former self. Gemini, get in touch with your twin self by watching an episode.
These people are a little emotional. You know what show will give you a good cry? Fuller House. You cry over your fleeting youth and the fact that you can never actually go back to the way things used to be, as proved evident by this reboot.
Leos are lions, and lions are all about drama and royalty, which we all got from The Lion King. You’re looking for a show like Empire, Leos.
Virgos are picky, critical and obsessed with attention to detail. They don’t want TV. They would rather watch like Lord of The Rings or Harry Potter and then join forums where they can list every, Exact, Difference, Between, the books and the movies, why it’s not as good as the original, why people even bother if they have no VISION. It’s not that hard to just follow a storyline already written out, IS IT?
Libra is the scales aka justice. Law and Order. Duh. Adjourned.
Scorpios are represented by scorpions, who are tricky and deadly and are found in desert climates. In Narcos, there are tricky and deadly people who live in desert climates. They say our soulmates tend to be the ones just like us, Scorpio.
Google, uhm, I mean my psychic senses, tells me that Sagittariuses are not particularly emotional or moody people. Since you are a stable person, you will be able to enjoy Game of Thrones. If you are a person who becomes attached, do not watch Game of Thrones, for the love of God.
Capricorns are serious and practical. They don’t have time for your silly fantasies, TV! TV is for losers, they think. When they go home, they relax by staring at a blank screen.
The sign Aquarius makes me think of “The Age of Aquarius,” which makes me think of hippies and weed. Thus, you guys are gonna looooove Broad City, a fairytale about two stoner chicks navigating NYC.
Pisces are all over the place, emotion-wise, which is why it makes sense that they’d fall in love with Grey’s Anatomy, a show that gives you love just as quickly as they take it away. It is almost as fun for a Pisces to watch the show as it is to sob about it afterwards into your Ben and Jerry’s. We know you love emotional torment, Pisces. We get it.