This Is Why You’re Not Alone When You’re Feeling Lonely

Bianca Hofman
Bianca Hofman is a Dutch ultrashort-story writer, based in Barcelona, Spain. She writes super short stories about dating, culture and career. But who is Morris? Morris is Bianca’s imaginary muse, her yin, her alter ego, whatever you want to call him. "Y" means "And" in Spanish, in case you didn’t know. Yes, Bianca&Morris. Bianca has a passionate relationship with the city she lives in. Together with her sister she founded Barcelona Hofman, a flash fiction collaboration. The sisters launched Barcelona Hofman, May 2016, with an exposition during the open art gallery weekend in Barcelona. Facebook: Instagram: Twitter: @biancaymorris and @Bianca_Hofman

“What did you do last weekend?”

“I felt lonely.”

There’s a very small chance you’ll actually hear a conversation like this during your Monday lunch break. Loneliness is, simply put, not cool, and one of the last taboos of our buzzing life in the big city.

But breaking taboos is cool. So let’s cut the crap, people.

When you think of loneliness, the first person that pops in your head might be that odd granny on your apartment block. Loneliness is, indeed, a huge problem among elderly people. I volunteer at a home for the elderly and I see it with my own eyes.

But the fact is that loneliness can hit us all, especially in the big city.

Lonely: affected with or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.

Loneliness is an emotional state that causes a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation.

You don’t have to be alone, single, or an anti-social freak to feel lonely. For example, you can feel it while you’re in a relationship because you don’t feel loved. You can get lonely while you are drinking cocktails with friends because you don’t connect with them like you think you should.

Loneliness can be caused by many things — losing someone, when things in life aren’t working out as you want them to, or through depression.

I used to find it hard, admitting to people that I felt lonely sometimes. I was afraid that they would think I was a loser, so instead I tried to hide my feelings by acting tough.

Completely ridiculous, because it can and does happen to everyone, now I know. But sometimes we forget that most of our friends don’t use their Snapchat to share these difficult moments.

Loneliness is probably not the best topic during a how-was-your-weekend-chit-chat with colleagues, but we shouldn’t ignore it. Sharing your feelings with friends and family and admitting you need help is a good thing. It might be a bit awkward in the beginning, but it works. If we let it go without expressing our feelings to others, the loneliness can start to take over your life and affect your relationships.

It can cause huge health problems, make you insecure, anxious, depressed, and overly-needy of the people in your life. There are some who stay in relationships because of the fear of being lonely, but that is no way to find true happiness.

Finding the cause of why you feel lonely is key. If you are not happy even in your own company, there is probably more going on than wanting to see your friends or your lover obsessively.

Whatever you do to beat the loneliness, always keep in mind that you are definitely not alone in feeling lonely.

A photo posted by @biancaymorris on

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