What To Do When Everyone Questions The Person You’re Dating

Bianca Hofman
Bianca Hofman is a Dutch ultrashort-story writer, based in Barcelona, Spain. She writes super short stories about dating, culture and career. But who is Morris? Morris is Bianca’s imaginary muse, her yin, her alter ego, whatever you want to call him. "Y" means "And" in Spanish, in case you didn’t know. Yes, Bianca&Morris. Bianca has a passionate relationship with the city she lives in. Together with her sister she founded Barcelona Hofman, a flash fiction collaboration. The sisters launched Barcelona Hofman, May 2016, with an exposition during the open art gallery weekend in Barcelona. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/biancamorris.hofman Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/biancaymorris/ Twitter: @biancaymorris and @Bianca_Hofman

A photo posted by @biancaymorris on

“You’re dating the wrong one!” your friends say.

“Your father was bad news. I should have listened to the people around me.” Yep, in my mom’s case, it would have been better. Because it was, indeed, a toxic relationship.

So, when friends have doubts about your new date, listen…but be cautious!

When we are in love, we are blind as a bat, and we tend to paint black habits pink. It can be good to have people around you warning you that your date is too flirty, too crazy, too young, too old, too married, whatever. When pursuing a relationship, you have to acknowledge that we often fall in love with an idealized version of someone. And your friends know you, love you and…

WAIT A MINUTE! STOP RIGHT THERE!

Yes, your friends love you more than anything in this world, but even your besties can have their hidden agendas when it comes to dating advice. Sometimes they don’t even realize it themselves.

They are human — they can be jealous, prejudiced, afraid to lose you, or even in love with the person you’re dating. They may have a different idea of how love works. This doesn’t mean they don’t love you, it simply means they are not perfect. (But they would probably rather eat their new shoes than tell you that.)

So, before you dump your date just because your friends tell you this person is not the right one for you, take the time to consider…

What do YOU want and what do YOU feel?

Don’t forget to listen to your own gut feeling.

I have been in this situation myself, when friends of my date warned him I was bad news. I was “too wild” and “not serious enough.”

Yes, I was wild, but also loyal and honest. I don’t know if his friends had hidden agendas, but my date listened to his gut feeling and I’m happy he did, because we had a wonderful relationship.

Valuing the opinions of those close to you is important, and can save you from a lot of pain when they are able to see something you aren’t. But if you find yourself being pulled in a different direction, take the time to consider your own feelings. Listening to your gut when it comes to dating can be a challenge, because many times we confuse fear with intuition, but it is possible. Go for a run, a long walk, meditate — do whatever you need to do to disconnect. Take everything into consideration and get your own answers.

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