It is with a heavy heart that I must admit that college ruined any “game” that I may have had.
I went into those four years eager to meet girls and get a taste of what every college guy I had ever known was raving about – girls everywhere among endless parties. It sounded like Eden to me, and it turned out to be exactly how they had described it. I had a blast and met a lot of girls (from what I can remember). But what they hadn’t mentioned was that we‘d be drunk during all of it, which is the sole reason why everyone was so free spirited and confident.
Too self-conscious to go up to that girl and ask her out? Easy fix; go pound some brewskis with your buddy and loosen up. Take a shot of Zhenka or two. Now go talk to her!
Though, reality hits once that graduation day rolls around and it’s not as easy or respectable to be buzzed all the time. Nor is it feasible if you want to contribute to society and maintain any semblance of maturity.
So, there lies the dilemma. I just spent four years liquored up while I was socializing and hitting on girls. Now, in the real world, outside of a weekend night at the bar, I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to women. What do I say to them? What do we talk about? Is the gym an acceptable place to approach a girl? (I think someone told me once that it wasn’t). They say a grocery store is a goldmine. Do I mention the robust apples, or the 2 for 1 buy in the toilet paper aisle?
I was watching Mad Men the other day, admiring the suaveness of Don Draper, until I realized that all those guys back then were drinking vodka on the rocks during their 9 to 5. No wonder he was swimming in women! That charisma was just the booze talking.
But that lifestyle is not realistic for me, and rather ill-advised, medically speaking. So I guess I am going to have to adjust and figure out how to do this sober. And it can be done; there is evidence all around us that single people are meeting. These interactions couldn’t have all happened at a bar. In fact, most people I know of who are dating met in ways not influenced by alcohol.
I think every person knows some quintessential couple with a unique story of how they first met. For some it’s a blind date set up by mutual friends. Others, a coffee date after work. So much of it comes down to the chances you take, and getting over that hurdle of feeling uncomfortable. Every great thing that has ever happened to me, whether it was in sports, school, or in my social life, came with some level of nervousness and self-doubt. But it was the act of just going for it that paid off. Being successful in any avenue of life begins with the will to take a risk.
So, I challenge you, guy or girl, next time you see someone you want to hit on or ask out, do it! At some point, the anxiety you feel in approaching them will be overridden by the amount of times your confidence proved to be successful. If you get nervous and want to walk away, just pretend you are Don Draper and role-play that shit.