The Most Expensive And Hideous Shit You’ll Ever See From Barneys

Mikela Warman
Mikela has been working in the fashion industry since 2012 with the likes of Marie Claire, Giorgio Armani, WWD and VERANDA Magazine. She passionately studies the industry of style and how it coalesces with various different aspects of life such as art, career and cultural influences. When she’s not daydreaming at Bergdorf’s, you can find Mikela at yoga, watching Netflix documentaries and taking long walks around Manhattan. As a founding member of the site, Mikela also currently heads the brand management of 20something.

It’s fun to list what I love from fancy department stores but it’s equally as thrilling to G-chat these heinous articles of clothing to my friends saying, “for your birthday.” Send this shitty inventory to someone you really love today xoxo.

But first, a Haiku…

oh barneys clothing
that is quite awful for real
children cry sad face

 

If Professor McGonagall shopped couture — $1,340

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Hi, please just fuck me up with dots — $1,000

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This is the equivalent of a long labia — $390

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Me killed all animals in middle earth — $11,995

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I am going for the Wicked Witch of NYC, yes, thank you — $995

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If you feel like trading half-eaten hot dogs for Wet Ones with the crew on the corner of 23rd and 7th — $995

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Is this.. not.. the oompa loompa Manhattan audition? — $430

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WHAT ARE THOOOOOSE??? — $1,095

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There were two holes in the cardigan that could just not.. be.. salvaged — $1,495

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When you trying to let the whole world know how much you love geometry…and being a virgin. — $885

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Let’s play “guess if there’s a body under here” — $2,695

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Should I include ruffles? Lace? Layers? Ah fuck it, just do it all — $555

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Even Janis Joplin would have cringed — $1,495

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BIGFOOT LIVES — $475

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