10 Things That Only Happen In New York As Told By ‘Broad City’

Becca Van Sambeck
Becca is a recent Fordham grad, a former German beer hall girl, and a new Brooklyn resident who used to read the dictionary for fun as a kid. She has only gotten slightly less lame since then. She loves pugs, chicken fingers, reading and Game of Thrones.

New York’s best 20something BFFs have finally come back to our TV screens (ugh, no, not Hanna and Marnie). We’re talking about “Broad City,” that’s now in its third season.

“Broad City” isn’t just set in New York — it’s also about New York in many ways, highlighting all the great, the bad and the weird the city has to offer. Living in New York can be just as hellish as it is amazing, and “Broad City” acknowledges that, putting its characters in scenarios NYC residents will find just a little too relatable…

1. You think you understand heat in the summer, that you can handle it, until you move to New York.

The heat has more in common with the bowels of Hell than you’d believe in the summer. You’d do anything to beat the heat, whether it be loitering in Bed, Bath and Beyond, doing odd jobs in exchange for a free air conditioned room, or maybe just giving up and stealing one from a dorm, as Ilana ingeniously decides to do.

2. You’ve tried out any number of excuses to explain to your finance friend that you’re just not going out in Murray Hill.

Of course, as Abbi and Ilana realize, all these finance bros are just heading to Williamsburg now. Maybe an out of commission L train isn’t the worst thing….

3. You love trying out all of New York’s trendy desserts…

Whether it’s cupcakes, donuts, ice cream, rainbow bagels or frozen yogurt. Then you realize picking out those treats can be its own kind of hell with the million options to customize your food, as Ilana’s roommate, Jaime discovers when he heads to Sixteen Handles.

4. If you walked down the street in your cutest skirt, your best Pinterest-inspired bun and a pair of high heels — you’ll probably get catcalled.

Walk down the street in a groutfit, hair over your face and you sniffling from a cold — you’ll probably get catcalled. It’s 2016, and yet women still hear random dudes telling them, “You should smile, beautiful!” Of course, Abbi and Ilana handled getting catcalled with fierce sarcasm.

5. You naturally have your own “You won’t believe what I saw in the subway…” story.

Then you somehow end up topping that story every month. Abbi and Ilana completely understand this after their romp through a subway that included a mom cutting a child’s hair, a couple getting busy, and six people sharing a massive sandwich.

6. You understand going to Penn Station is a depraved type of torture.

One that even Genghis Khan wasn’t able to dream up. This was completely emphasized with Abbi’s date when the guy dumped her when he learned their trip required them to go to Penn Station.

“Penn Station…I can’t.”

7. You’ve set out to apartment hunt with bright-eyed optimism only to have your soul slowly crushed as you realize the best you can afford in Manhattan is maybe a closet in a bodega.

If you’re lucky. The dread of apartment hunting in New York is perfectly described when Abbi attempted to find her own place and had her realtor show her a bathroom-free hallway pretending to be a home, a “pre-Iraq War” apartment with a coffin-like loft to sleep in, and the “perfect apartment” that was only affordable because it’s still stained with the blood from the murders that happened there.

8. You still secretly want to do all the things you saw Carrie and friends do in “Sex and The City.”

And it doesn’t even matter how lame your friends think it is, which is exactly why you insist on taking your family to Magnolia’s Bakery, or like Ilana’s “sex friend” Lincoln, you go and enroll at the Trapeze School in New York — it’s a metaphor for fear, or whatever!

9. You’ve missed a UPS package more than twice, and slowly realized the shit you have to go through to get it. 

Basically take a subway 16 stops, ride a bus for 37 minutes, walk for another 20, dig a tunnel with your bare hands, and then keep walking just to reach the package center your items are being held.

This is just what Abbi who found herself doing when she rowed a boat all the way out to the former home of Typhoid Mary, North Brother Island, just to retrieve a package.

10. You face a million challenges a day, both big and small. 

But it’s all right because you have a best friend to take on the best city in the world.