Come on, guys, there’s gotta be at least one song you love but you’d never tell anyone because it would be too embarrassing. What’s the terrible song you sing out loud when no one else is around? I can keep a secret 🙂
Okay, now I have to admit it publicly…
These are mine. Enjoy:
1. “Barbie Girl” – Aqua
This song has got to be my number one guilty pleasure. I know literally every word. Oh yeah, she feels plastic, its fantastic. What sort of plastic and where is she feeling it? Filthy little wench!
2. “Dancing Queen” – ABBA
This song will always bring out the 17-year-old girl in me. You can try to fight ABBA, but ABBA always wins. If you try to fight it, it’ll become your Waterloo. You’ll end up crying “Mamma Mia!” and giving in. Don’t be ashamed of becoming a Dancing Queen. Does your mother know you like ABBA? Don’t be afraid to admit it to her. She will still love you. Yes, you may come under attack for liking ABBA, but you should stand your ground. If you find yourself in trouble for liking ABBA, just send out an S.O.S. and other fans will come to your aid.
3. “Pump Up The Jam” – Technotronic
Even though they butcher the English language on so many levels, the bass line has a great pulse. A Saturday Night Live skit with Chris Farley, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan with Adam Sandler, and a little video game called Just Dance all use this masterpiece.
4. “Toxic” – Britney Spears
One of the most iconic music videos of all time. If aliens came and said, “Give us prime example of Pop music or we will destroy your feeble planet!” I’m cuing Toxic up to save us all. Every time I hear it, instinctive dancing ensues. No hesitation at all. I will rock the fuck out to “Toxic” at any time, any place. My only regret is that I should have lost my virginity to this song.
5, “Beautiful Soul” – Jesse McCartney
The lyrics might be original, but the music is not. This recognizable sound is also heard in other Pop hits like “Baby” by Justin Beiber. But ya gotta admit, when this song comes on the radio, a full-on, choreographed, stage-ready performance happens, like, 99% of the time.
6. OMG “Shoes”
Ah, YouTube classics. I laughed so hard when I saw this in grade 7 — “Condams” (Also shout out to whoever is watching this in 2016 *slow clap*.) But really, we can all safely admit that this song was EVERYTHING in middle school. Beyond being catchy AF, this video basically epitomizes the 2000s.
7. “Sk8er Boi” – Avril Lavigne
Ok, if you didn’t go through an Avril Lavigne stage, you’re a liar. You know, like those girls that wore the blue eye shadow in 7th grade to be cool (spoiler alert, that girl was me.) Avril is the only reason why I had fucking neckties and a chained wallet. I remember when I used to get up in the morning, turn on the TV and would hear MTV playing this song. Good times, man.
He was a boy
She was a girl,
Life was so much simpler in my Avril days…ROCK ON.
8. “London Bridge” – Fergie
….OH SHIT! What is her London Bridge anyway? No one knows what it means, but its provocative. My understanding was that it had to do with her trousers. At first, I thought it had to do with a part of the body, but as we all know, no part of a woman’s body comes down like a bridge, so:
- She could be an alien.
- It’s her pants.