I arrived in Ms. Denin’s 6th grade class 20 minutes early on my first day. I had been waiting on this moment since 2nd grade. There were three or four other 6th grade classes and I was one of the lucky ones to get Ms. Denin. That spring during P.E., I met a girl who would become one of my nearest and dearest friends. Although we came from different backgrounds and never had any classes together, we quickly became best friends, and up until the day she moved to L.A.,we had always lived within a few hours of each other. Having a long distance best friend is not easy, especially when you are in different time zones. These are some of the struggles of having a long distance bff.
Catching up takes intensive scheduling
Even though LA and NYC are only three hours apart, those three hours really don’t leave too much time for solid communication in the midst of a work week. For example, I wake up at 9 to get to work by 10. By the time I arrive at work and catch up on things, she’s just getting her day started. By noon EST, (aka 9 a.m. her time), she’s arriving at work and starting her day. The lull in my day around 2 or 3 p.m. is her lunch time and so on, so on…the vicious cycle of time continues.
Seeing them with other people
This sounds like a totally possessive thing to say, but watching your friend on the other side of the country with a completely foreign set of friends and life that you get only snippets of is a hard scene to watch.
You wonder: do these friends know about me? Will they like me? Will I like them? I hope I’m not being replaced.
When you’re together it’s like a marathon
The last time I went to LA to visit my bff, I stayed from Wednesday to Sunday, despite her having a full-time job. Seeing them for those few hours after work or taking the bus to Beverly Hills to have lunch is just the sacrifice we have to make. Just to be in each other’s presence, whether it’s watching a movie, looking at candles for their apartment or strolling around outside, is completely worth it.
Technology is your other best friend
My biggest pet peeve is being out with a bunch of friends and having that one person who is constantly texting, checking Facebook, Instagram, whatever it may be. However, come Friday-Saturday night when I’m up late, I become that person. It’s prime catch up time and I am not going to miss out. “What did you do this weekend? Who’s that new girl in your picture? Oh cool, you went to the beach! Nice filter choice. I see the same guy has been in your last eight photo albums, what’s up with that?”
The point I’m trying to make is that it’s harder to preserve long distance friendships than you think — relationships, romantic or not, take work. Feeling like your heart is in two places is not fun and trying to maintain a balance between staying in the loop with your long distance bff while being present with your geographically close friends takes effort.
My few suggestions? Write emails, long text messages, and try and schedule a Skype session at least once a month. It’ll keep you sane and caught up!