Reasonable Or Ridiculous? 4 Very Real Glitter Beauty Trends

Stevi Incremona
Stevi graduated from NYU's Tisch School of the Arts with a BFA in Drama. When she's not auditioning and running around New York, she's escaping to her original home at the Jersey Shore and most definitely lying on a beach somewhere equidistant between the ocean and tiki bar. She's a coffee snob, craft beer enthusiast, technology nerd, and obviously (most importantly) has a very real addiction to buying and trying affordable beauty products.

Okay, so I get that the holidays are upon us and things are all of the sudden shades of shiny and sparkly. I see how you, too, would want to glisten. But there’s a difference between a festive sparkle and looking like a walking disco ball. We humans are not meant to resemble tinsel. Here are a few glitter beauty trends that are actually happening to our world right now, ranked from reasonable to ridiculous.

Glitter Brows

On the scale of 1 to absurd, I’d rate these at about a 4. Given the proper lighting, situation, party, festival, I can understand where a sparkly eyebrow could turn heads in a daring and cool way. Some chicks have nailed this sparkly eyebrow skill way down pat and have played with an ombre sparkly eyebrow which is, admittedly, way cool.

But, ultimately I see this and think “disaster.” This would only ever be appropriate at a New Year’s Eve party or something where you’re sure to dance and break a sweat. You’d be sweating glitter! And it’d get all in your eyes and all over your face!

Final verdict: Pass

4

Glitter Lips

Cool for pictures. So not cool for life needs. I hear they sell these in sticker form, so if you want to tattoo a sticker to your kisser for the evening, be my guest. However, if you go the skin glue and glitter route, your lips have just garnered a ton of attention. But they’ve also just become very un-kissable.

One thing is for sure: don’t be kissing anyone you shouldn’t be kissing under that mistletoe because that glitter is definitely going to leave behind a mark.

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Glitter Beards

IIIIIIIIIIIIII meeeeeeaaaaaan, now we’re just getting ridiculous. Why you gotta do dis? Every time I see a full beard I wonder what’s possibly stuck in it that I’m not able to see. This is just proof of the potential grossness. I don’t know, man. I just don’t feel like a dude’s beard should ever have to look like a pixie and/or Barney threw up on it.

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Glitter Armpits

OH COME ON NOW. It’s one thing to choose to not shave your arm hair. You do you. But to call attention to it with glitter? Who are you, what are you, why are you even?

Final verdict: This is at a 17 on the scale of 1 to absurdity.

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