`It’s that time of year again! The time when women assemble their squad and gather around the TV for two hours of pure entertainment. The time when your boyfriend complains that you’re making him watch this “crap” to protect his masculinity, but in reality he enjoys it even more than you do. Lastly and most importantly, it’s that time when one night a week is dedicated to drinking wine and finding a small sense of sanity that you are not that girl on national television crying over a man that’s simultaneously dating 20 other women. That’s right…it’s Bachelor season.
To celebrate this madness, I have compiled a list of only the relevant girls on the Bachelor as of right now, because as we all know the girls with no airtime will soon be leaving. So, here’s a quick list of what I’ve gathered on some of the girls so far following episode 2.
Amanda, 25, California
I have good feelings about Amanda. She’s a beautiful girl from California with two really cute daughters. Her voice is a little too high pitched, but I’ll overlook it because currently, she seems like one of the only normal ones. She got a lot more face time in the second episode when she revealed to Ben that she had two daughters. He was really cool about it, but almost bizarrely cool about it. The next day he made hairclips for her daughters. Just a little weird, right? Still rooting for you though, Amanda.
Amber, 30, Chicago
Oh, Amber. Don’t you think when you come away from both Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise empty-handed it’s time to call a quits? I will be more than happy to teach you how to download Tinder, which is a much more efficient way to find a boyfriend than the Bachelor franchise. There is no way that this is going to end well for you and I apologize in advance for what you must be going through after being letdown three times on national television.
Caila, 23, Ohio
Caila probably had one of the most awkward first encounters with Ben out of all the girls. If you don’t recall, she is the one that tried to jump on top of him and he caught on seconds later that he was supposed to catch her. Painful to watch. Anyways, she got the first solo date, which shouldn’t even be considered a solo date. She, Kevin Hart, and Ice Cube drove around in a car with Ben for a while and then inexplicably ended up in a hot tub. Within the whole date there were probably about ten words exchanged between Caila and Ben. She couldn’t even tell that Ben was clearly trying to make out with her at the end of the date. She’s cute, but just isn’t doing it for me at the moment.
Emily and Haley, 22, Las Vegas
Where to begin? Like they’re twins…identical twins… It’s obvious they’re not going to win. How is he supposed to remember their names when they look exactly alike? Not to mention they listed their occupation as twins?? That’s about all I have to say about them.
Jo Jo, 24, Texas
If she doesn’t ring a bell for you, she is the one who came out of the limo in a unicorn mask. She seems super cute and bubbly and was even Jimmy Kimmel’s pick as the winner, and he hasn’t been wrong for the past three seasons. It is clear that Ben has major feels for her and she seems pretty normal so I’ll support it. You go Jo Jo!
Jubilee, 24, Florida
I am so rooting for Jubilee. She is gorgeous and a veteran and Ben seems to be into her. For now she doesn’t seem extremely relevant, but she is included in a lot of the previews for new episodes so we’ll see where this goes. Really hoping it’s not going to be a mental breakdown though. Stay strong, Jubs.
Lace, 25, Colorado
Lace, I love you. I am so thankful that producers force Ben to keep you on for a few weeks to boost the ratings. You are the reason I enjoy this season so much. Not only are you the craziest girl on this show, but also you consistently reassure the cameras that you are not crazy. Nothing is better than a girl in denial about being psycho. Every time she talks to Ben she has a mini panic attack right after about not having enough time with Ben. She was denied a kiss on the first night which definitely contributed to her downward spiral, but for that, we love you. Keep doing you.
Lauren B., 25, California
Unless the producers are trying to mess with us, I think they’re hinting that Lauren B. is going to be important. She was one of the select amount of girls who had their introduction clip shown and was also the first girl out of the limo. Those two combined usually tell us that she is going to be significant this season. Jimmy Kimmel predicted her to be top two, and again, he is usually right. She did not get on any dates on the second episode, but he made sure to make her feel “special” during the cocktail party. Ben gave her a photo of them together from the first night in order to make her feel like he hasn’t forgotten about her. I have mixed feelings about this unorthodox gesture. It was cute I guess, but also kind of creepy. Where is she supposed to put that photo now? In her room full of all the other girls dating him? IDK.
Olivia, 23, Texas
The last of the relevant girls is Olivia. The first episode everyone was rooting for Olivia. She seemed like a beautiful, sweet and genuine girl from Texas. She even won the first impression rose. By the end of that episode, the previews revealed that Olivia isn’t all that she seems to be. During the second episode is when I knew I would have to love Olivia from strictly a comedic standpoint. When the third date card revealed a date that she would take part in, I’ve never seen a reaction so amazing before in my entire life. My roommates and I hit rewind on the TV at least five consecutive times. How can someone open their mouth so wide?? It was actually a perfect circle. I am surprised the Internet has not been flooded with a thousand memes yet. Anyways, Olivia killed the group date, and we did not hear the end of it. The rest of her side interviews were filled with more absurd facial expressions that I thoroughly enjoyed. All the other girls were not having Olivia’s cockiness. She even talked to him at the cocktail party when she already had a rose, and for those of you unfamiliar with proper Bachelor etiquette, this is a huge no-no! First night we all thought she would win, but as time went on we now know Olivia is the girl who turns out to be crazy and Ben will only find that out later from talking to the other girls.