You look down and see that little plus sign symbolizing an addition to your family and the loss of your social life, right? Well, not necessarily. The thing is, having a baby certainly does change your life, but it doesn’t ruin it. There are many pros and cons to having your first child. Here are just a few:
The Cons of motherhood:
This is a term I vaguely remember from my pre-pregnancy days. I believe it’s something most people in their twenties do a lot of on the weekends? My daughter is eight weeks old and I have probably slept less now that I did during finals week in college. Basically, when the baby is up, you’re up, end of story. And even when that little sucker is down, you’re still up. It’s the only chance you have to wash the dishes, do laundry, even shower your damn self. So yes, your sleep life is as dead as your sex life which leads me to…
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. The fact is that once you have birthed, or witnessed a birth, you’ll have very little interest in putting anything back up that exit for a while. And when you finally do, it will hurt like losing your virginity, and your baby will cock block you. Nothing kills a mood more than hearing the faint whimpers of the end result of your current action.
3. Social life
Once upon a time, your friends would text you at 6 p.m. telling you to be dressed and ready to go out by 10, and you would. Now, they don’t because they know you can’t. Alright, alright, not quite. Yes, it is harder to do spur of the moment things like that, but all is not lost. You’ve just got to make the transition from babysitter to sitter-seeker. And that’s assuming you have an extra $60 to throw at a Saturday night.
Yeah, it’s not just yours anymore. You better think twice before you drop a few $$$ on a new GoPro. “Baby needs a new pair of shoes” is no longer just something you say at the casino — it’s something you say when figuring out if you can afford to splurge on pizza tonight.
Not everything is lost. Here’s the pros:
Remember how you felt when you won that goldfish at the carnival and you took it home and it was all yours? Or when your essay got published in the local newspaper? Or when you got that big promotion at work? Ok now wrap all of those moments into one and multiply that feeling of accomplishment by 38103946281947291716264. There is nothing more satisfying, and amazing, and life affirming, than looking into a set of eyes that you and your partner created…nothing.
Once you’ve looked into those tiny new eyes, you will finally understand what love really is. Sure you’ve been in love in the past, but this love is like none other. Holding your baby at the most anticipated meeting of your life, your heart will never be the same and you won’t even remember life before that moment. This love is what will get you through the sleepless nights, I promise.
Sure, you had high hopes for your future. A steady career path outlined, a vague idea of when you’d like to hit certain goals. However, once it hits you that this tiny, perfect being needs you to care and provide for it, you will experience a drive like never before. You will be ready to make those calls to the investors for your startup, or spend the extra hour at work prepping for that presentation. You’re pretty much Superman or woman with a vendetta: focused and unstoppable.
Trust me when I say you have never appreciated a full night’s sleep until you’ve gone months without one. Yeah the cons include not having a vibrant social life, the sex life being weird at first, and having a more stringent budget, but hear me out.
While it will never be as it once was, you will enjoy yourself much more when you do go out. You’ll make sure that you go do things you actually want to do with your precious bits of free time. And let’s not forget the sex. When the time comes, sex with your partner will seem better than ever. Nothing is sexier that watching your spouse be a loving parent to your child. And your money! You will appreciate every single free dollar you manage to hold on to, and you’ll appreciate everything you spend it on that much more.
So my dear parenting noob, don’t be afraid. The fact is having a baby completely changes your life. You’ll be tired, broke, horny and happier than you’ve ever been in your life.