Women… Amirite? But professional women… AMIRITE? There’s just something about women in a professional setting that multiplies their attractiveness by a factor ranging anywhere from 1.3-1.8.
I love women. I respect women. Women make the world go round. That being said, a hot teacher will forever be a fantasy of every guy from the moment they pop their first chub in class, until their last boner shrivels into oblivion after the Viagra throws in the towel.
Let’s even forget about the classroom for a second — the scene of some very classy pornos — and set our sights on an office or maybe a hospital. The whole concept of sleeping with someone who controls your immediate future is completely consuming and exhilarating. If your boss is even remotely cute, you have thought about doing unforgivable things to them (I say “them” because I truly believe this goes both ways. I can see the draw to a hot guy boss, however I have never felt that way myself so for the sake of the article, I will focus on the females).
Let’s discuss the aforementioned hospital scenario. If I were in a hospital bed and a cute nurse walked in and so much as locked eyes with me, I would probably have a heart attack. Thank goodness I would be in a hospital. It might even be worth pretending to stop breathing so I could receive mouth to mouth like the scene from Sandlot with the lifeguard (another example). Hopefully she wouldn’t immediately grab the paddles because that would really suck…unless it didn’t. Maybe people do that all the time, like some S&M crap. Is the use of electricity in that category? Only one way to find out…Google that shit. No need to, I did your dirty work and it’s totally a thing. I am not saying to go try it, but if you do, find a way to let me know how it is.
ANYWAY, Women…Amirite? Going back to the office scenario, the attractive lady does not have to be your boss. If any cute girl walks by at work, it is almost impossible to not at least double take.
What’s so great about this is that they can be wearing anything. Women don’t need to be a wild and flashy college chick who shows her boobs for a shot of Satan’s armpit sweat of a liquor to get a guy’s attention in the professional world. In the workplace, they can wear a pantsuit and a guy will wonder what is underneath. Is it another pantsuit? A skin tight leopard print leotard?
Only one way to find out…Google that shit. Kidding. However, probably the most annoying part about this whole concept is that it is beyond terrifying to make a move or even ask a girl out when she works in the same building or for the same company as you. Imagine being rejected or causing an uncomfortable situation. You have to see her every day strutting around in her pantsuit or whatever sexy outfit she decides to make guys gawk at the next day.
Women have so much power, it’s insane. She will probably give you some sexy smirk as she passes by that makes you instantly decide you’d be open to anything to be with her, even erotic electro-stimulation or something (yes, that’s what it is called).
In reality, I think it is super uncommon for office relationships to stem from an office fling. Office flings are way more common than most people think, and not many of them end in a Jim and Pam situation. (If you don’t know what that is from, I hate you.)
I want to live in a world where it is easy and normal for a guy to go up to a girl in any circumstance, even the workplace, and say, “I think you are cute, would you like to go out sometime?” I know what you’re thinking. If you are a girl, you are thinking, “why don’t guys do that?” but you ladies don’t make it easy. Your glances, facial expressions and body language make me mind fuck myself so hard that I can’t walk straight. And I generally walk straight. Ask anybody, I am a terrific walker.
What I am trying to say is, ladies, go easy on us, even the shy guy in your office. We may not all be knights in shining armor but we have some feelings, sometimes. Kind of.