Oh, New York, how often we take all of your little quirks for granted – like when the asphalt smells of last Saturday’s vomit in summer’s heat or when a latte is $8.50 because it uses some sort of upstate, organic almond milk. Despite your ridiculous reasons for charging $3,000 a month for a one-bedroom apartment because there are no feral cats in the courtyard or shutting down a train literally just because, you sure know how to make one feel right at home.
Without getting into an argument over your inability to keep MTA prices reasonable (I’m not bitter?), here’s how you know you’re a New Yorker…
1. When your office views are what Mac desktop screensaver dreams are made of.
2. You’re perfectly comfortable getting into a foreign car whether that be from Lyft, Gett, Uber, Via, etc. If it costs $5 and allows my drunken ass to rest for a few minutes, I’m taking it.
3. Venmo is your most used app.
4. You can navigate any map or city no matter where you travel.
5. The division of wealth is so drastic that you could be walking in-between a homeless man screaming, “SHRIMP IS THE REASON WE IN DEBT!” and a Fortune 500 CEO who could purchase your own life if need be.
6. Your bag/man purse is always equipped with extra shoes, an iPhone charger, and an umbrella.
7. Going out to get food could take as little as three minutes because there are five bodegas on your block.
8. You yell/think, “SERIOUSLY?” (depending on your stress level) when someone doesn’t walk quickly enough.
9. You know better than to order sushi on a Sunday.
10. Central A/C, in-unit washing machines, and dishwashers are ~*luxurious*~.