Mojo For JoJo: Our Bachelorette Power Rankings After Week 2

Becca Van Sambeck

Becca is a recent Fordham grad, a former German beer hall girl, and a new Brooklyn resident who used to read the dictionary for fun as a kid. She has only gotten slightly less lame since then. She loves pugs, chicken fingers, reading and Game of Thrones.

Last night on The Bachelorette, we had JoJo bring her slutty 11th grade Halloween costume to life, firefighting challenges, an incredibly boring one-on-one date with Derek, and the rise of a mythic villain for The Bachelorette ages. Let’s count down the most likely contenders to win JoJo’s heart.

5. Wells

The head firefighter was kind enough to let exhausted Wells take a little breather from all the physical exercise. He then proved he was just fucking with Wells and picked him to be one of the final three in the challenge. Wells, obviously, did not win. Still, we have to respect him for trying at something he would so obviously fail at.

4. Grant

In a SHOCKING, UNFORSEEN twist, the winner of the firefighter challenge was….a firefighter. Good job, Grant, because if you lost at doing your actual job, you’d be headed down to the bottom of the rankings.

3. James Taylor

James made her cry with his…song? I guess you’d call it a song. Still, a million points. James has got the sensitive guy act on lock.

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2. Chad

Oh, Chad. I suspected you may be a douche (Exhibit A: “I’m Chad!”) but I had no idea how quickly you’d reveal your true colors. He repeatedly riles up the other guys, steals JoJo away from all of them, drops the phrase “protein powder” with alarming regularity, and eats literally all of the food (with his hands), as if he plans on starving the other guys out. “Fuck you guys, I’m going to make her my wife,” Chad says with a toast. Chad is a monster. I hope he never leaves.

1. Jordan

Jordan didn’t get to do much this episode. Sure, he name dropped his cooler, more successful older brother, but that was the extent of Jordan’s action this week. Still, we can’t forget JoJo’s heart emoji eyes from last week. She practically needed to call for a recliner to faint into when she saw him walk in. Until Chad mentally breaks him, Jordan is still winning.

And who’s losing? Everybody else. Who are they, again?

Source :

justjared, bustle

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