Whether it’s an unstable work environment, annoying coworkers (like the kiss as who won’t stop talking), or that promotion you’re not getting, going to work can feel like being the only Mexican at a Trump rally. So, you might need to some of these tips to help you last until Friday while that happy hour patiently waits for you.
Channel Martin Lawrence (circa year “Bad Boys 1” came out) and take a breather when things start to get cray. When my boss at my old job would go above and beyond the call of assness, I would take a moment to go to the bathroom and deep breathe. Take an early lunch or just hide under your desk for a few minutes and collect yourself.
2. Figure out your end goal
Why are you even there? Is it an internship in your field with amazing potential for growth, or a dead end job paying you just enough to get by? If the latter, leave. With fast food workers on their way to making $15/hr, there’s no way you have to stick around at a job you hate just for the duckets. Conversely, if you landed that “Assistant to the CEO” gig of the record label you hope to run someday, and that CEO happens to be a clearly unrelatable narcissistic twat (just made that up, you’re welcome), you may want to just tough it out for at least a year. Reminding yourself of the end goal — world domination — will make a Miranda Precily situation a whole lot easier to manage.
3. Make it a game
Have you seen that great meme that says “How to be an adult: Replace ‘F* You’ with ‘Absolutely!’” I love it cuz it’s true! One of the best things you can do to get by with a jerk of a boss is to just be more fake than Nick Minaj’s behind. My personal favorite is to do it like a drinking game, but instead of drinking you smile. Boss call you the wrong name again? Smile! Get blamed for something that was clearly not even your responsibility? Smile! Bonus points if you can add a “no problem!” to the end. Keep a tally of your smiles and go home and drink to each personal high score.
4. Try not to take it personal
When I worked at the illustrious Cheesecake Factory in college I swore my boss Liz hated me. It felt like she was constantly coming down on me for stupid things, and I couldn’t help but be so miserable each time we worked together. As it turns out, that’s just how she is to EVERYONE! Once I realized she was pushing me because she knew I could do better, I actually grew to like her. In fact, we’re friends to this day. If your boss seems to be coming down on you, take a moment to analyze their interactions with your coworkers. Chances are, knowing they don’t just hate you will make you feel a lot better.
There you have it folks, Marien’s tips for surviving that corporate employment. We’ve all dealt with that boss or coworker who can’t seem to get control of their own douchebaggery, myself more than a fair share. Hopefully now you can ease the pain that comes along with a stress-inducing work environment that causes you to drink one too many glasses of wine at the end of the day.
Take a deep breath, figure out your end goal, and then push through with the strength and determination you once had during your beer pong tournaments in college. You got this.