Instaworthy Eats: 3 Types Of Food On Instagram That’ll Ruin You

Kristi
Kristi mainly juggles her time between being a law student and a Kardashian enthusiast. In her free time, she expresses her love for fashion and her future career by being a fashion b(law)gger. Kristi is a proud mom to soon-to-be social media feline phenomenon, Mink Milli (@minkmilli on instagram). She graduated from the University of Florida, and she is well renowned for always using storing sweaters in her stove. If you ever need a candy pick-me-up, you can always find Kristi with an endless supply of sweets as she takes the saying “you aren’t you when you’re hungry” very seriously.

It’s a tale as old as time. No, not going creepy “Beauty & the Beast” on you, but kind of. For as long as the elliptical has been invented, girls have claimed that their New Years Resolution was to “get in shape.” Hell, I may have just learned about my privilege against self-incrimination in law school but even I will admit that I have been guilty of these false statements.

We all try to regain our “Beauty” (whatever that means o you), but when you are just eating a block of cheese a day, the only person that evolves is your inner “Beast.”

We have all promised and failed to get in shape because we went about in the wrong way. Speed diets and trying to “ghost” your caloric intake have never proven to be successful. Cute little photos may have been sent, even uploaded, to validate the fact we indeed entered the gym (even if it is just to use the restroom). The truth of the matter is, within a half hour of leaving, our car can be tracked at the nearest fast food location picking up a milkshake. (it does bring all the boys to the yard anyway, right?)

So rather than feeling sorry for yourself for eating that extra buttery pastry, I invite you to join my (and drake’s) mentality: Let’s do it real big, bigger than we’ve ever done it. Commit carbicide because, really, there’s no such thing as just as a taste when you are looking face-to-face with a macaron.

Can I get a “ahuh, honey” or even a side of honey? Now, jokes aside, allow yourself to slither into my chamber of secrets, as I deliver to you my strategy for the ultimate carbicide.

Each week I’ll deliver you the triple threat approach of the foods I’ve discovered on Instagram that will ruin your life. We’ve got: (1) Salty, (2) Sweet, and (3) A League All Their Own.

1. Salty

We were raised on it. Isn’t it safe to say we question anybody who didn’t appreciate French fries as a child?

That being said, let your inner child come out, allow yourself to get hungry (or remain hungry) and feast your eyes on these:

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(please cue: K&J JoJo: All My Life here)

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2. Sweet

Ask me if I eat sweets every day, and I say often.

Not everything in your life needs to become complicated like your Starbucks order. There’s nothing wrong with keeping your carb consumption short and “sweet.” Take a look and enjoy some of these beautiful creations:

 

3. A League All Their Own

Some people go to Tinder to find love. The wise ones prefer to go to their refrigerator. John Legend says it best: when you have a good dish, a really good dish in front of you, “all of me” will love “all of you.” I’m not trying to come off like a Danielle Steel novel here, but there’s a reason that Chrissy Teigen created a cookbook called “Cravings.”

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There are some assortments of food that are so good, that you just need ‘em, and you can’t describe them, because they are a category all of their own. It’s love at first bite. They are a 10. It’s a prima face case of attraction. Everything you are currently desiring, and need no filter. They offer a little spice, but at the end of the day, they melt your little heart (and your thighs) with their sweetness.

These food assortments, they don’t transport drugs, but rather, they do harness dreams. Consider this the play-by-play:

I call this one: started-from-the-bottom:

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