We came. We saw. We conquered the carb.
Just over a week ago, I released “The Carter:Volume I” — I’m kidding, but remember how epic that album was. This was before LilTunechi, when everything made so much more sense and our Starbucks orders were simple.
And just as simple was my triple threat system of committing carbicide.
I now bring you this week’s “Big 3” (sorry i’m a bitter Miami heat fan. We try to fill the void whenever possible — most of the time with our entrée consumption).
1. Keeping Up With The Karbz
While it tastes like Harry Potter’s Bertie Botts every flavor jelly bean (ew, booger) to say this, I admit I’m a Kardashian enthusiast. Ugh.
Now, before you run, and never read another word of this article, allow me to explain.
Kim.Kardashian.Eats.The.Whole.Episode. THE ENTIRE HALF HOUR.
It’s from that idea that I bring you these delights:
What you know about them Kylie Jenner lips:
Also, my life has changed and I hope it’s the same for you:
If this won’t make you feel fuller than Kylie Jenner’s lips, then idk what will:
2. Nacho Bae
Sometimes your best relationship is the one you have with your stomach. I never understood the saying: “Take things with a grain of salt.” Rather, just add salt to some of your meals.
Make everyday “fry”day.
how do you like your eggs? 2 eggs over yeezy? no? sorry. anyway click here:
Is this inception? Pizza within a pizza? Carb within a carb? Leo, you won your Oscar. We know, but you can come out and explain:
As stated above, this clearly is one of Leo’s other models (if you will):
3. Kale Yourself
Let’s face it, kale is the Beyonce of the ~GrEenZ~ world. It’s good and you need it. It’s talked about more than Kylie Jenner and Tyga on the tabloids. Aren’t they, are they? We want more.
We all have these same awkward flirtations with kale. We love it. We know its good for us, but sometimes we just want something MORE. That being said, let’s load up and “kale” ourselves by adding just a little snippet more to our plates.
Call me butter because I’m on a roll (hopefully the one depicted here deep in the salad).
Kale(ing) me softly with this Instagrammy: