Yes, this is real life.
As a rational and sane human being, you were likely outraged by the horrific story of sexual assault making headlines over the last several weeks, as well as the ludicrous leniency granted to Brock Turner, the 20-year-old attacker who we mustn’t forget was good at swimming.
Consequently, you may have shared your disgust for Brock, his father and the judge (who very sensibly wanted to avoid a sentence that might have the exact result prison is supposed to have on criminals) by posting an article or signing an online petition demanding more jail time, like many of your friends.
It’s really a thing of wonder that in moments of injustice, Internet users around the globe seek ways to personally remedy the situation —to right the wrong. While this can get dicey amidst a complicated scenario (a la our friend Harambe), in moments that can only be interpreted as clear violations of justice, you can always count on the Internet to execute their own form of retribution. Even in an act as simple as spreading awareness, we ensure that everyone on planet earth will recognize this person as a rapist and guarantee he will never get a job or live a normal life ever again. Way to go, Internet.
But some particularly spiritual people took it to a whole new level this week when they got reaaal resourceful and used the extraordinary power of the Internet to masterfully demonstrate a wonderful example of human collaboration. “The Hexing of Brock Turner” was a Facebook group created to gather about 600 witches from around the world, who then orchestrated a mass hex on Brock, his father and the judge, Aaron Persky, this Tuesday at about 10PM CST.
This massive group of pagan witches did whatever it is witches do to curse their targets with impotence and unrelenting pain.
Papermag reports that while some chill witches just lit candles and stuff, others went all out and placed his photo in “nasty ointment, urine [and] spit.”
Here was the exact verbiage used for the hex:
“Brock Allen Turner we hex you.
You will be impotent
You will know constant pain of pine needles in your guts
Food will bring you no sustenance
In water, your lungs will fail you
Sleep will only bring nightmares
Shame will be your mantle.
You will meet justice.
My witchcraft is strong. Our witchcraft is powerful. The spell will work. So Mote it be.”
Really looking forward to seeing how this turns out.