Another one bites the dust — just a couple of months after the very twee twosome were spotted making out on the rocks of Rhode Island, Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston have broken up.
Breakups are rough on anyone, and it’s bound to be a million times worse when everyone has actively been speculating about how your relationship is an elaborate publicity stunt.
Tom Hiddleston must have been so crushed when he got the breakup text from Taylor Swift's publicist.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) September 6, 2016
With that in mind, we can already guess how Taylor and Tom are both coping with the end of a short, beautiful, and very over-the-top relationship.
1. Burning his “I Heart T.S.” tank in a trash can and then pouring holy water on the ashes.
2. Vowing never to set foot in Rhode Island again.
3. Following Chris Hemsworth around the set of “Thor: Ragnorak,” eagerly trying to find a moment to spill his heart out.
4. Practicing his winning speech for the Emmys, now that he had to write out the part where he winks at Taylor and thanks her for being his everything.
5. Deleting the Instagram account Taylor made for him.
1. Describing her feelings about the split in vivid detail to her cats.
2. Texting Selena Gomez about the breakup. No answer. She then texts Gigi Hadid. No answer. She texts Lena Dunham. No answer. She texts Blake Lively, who responds almost immediately.
3. Going to the gym in outfits that are simply too nice to sweat in. Walks in and then instantly walks out, for the sole purpose of being photographed looking “hot.”
4. Reading bad poetry.
5. Putting the finishing touches on the breakup song she’s been writing about Tom ever since they danced together the Met Gala.
Stay tuned for that next T Swift album. It’s going to be a good one.