For an app that is full of headless men, it is (oddly enough) extremely easy to find someone that will give you head whenever or wherever you want. I opened Grindr this morning before work and was welcomed by comments comments such as “do u like your toes sucked?” “want head?” and “wanna fuck?” ALL FROM HEADLESS TORSOS. I would like to preface this by saying that I did not get my toes sucked or have any kind of anonymous sex with a stranger this morning.
(It’s funny to me that some random person in a two mile radius of the West Village would be so keen to lick my toes without even doing so much as asking when my last pedicure was.)
Anyway, back to the point. This city is full of extremely attractive men and it confuses me as to why we all find ourselves hiding behind these pointless hookup apps. We will be out at bars until the crack of dawn with the exact same people we chat with on Grindr, but are too afraid to speak to these hotties IRL. I think that these types of apps have crippled our self confidence, so I am taking a stand, and saying that I want mine back!
While I do think that it’s fun to kill time by scrolling through the perfectly sculpted abs and pecks on GreekGod, I mean Grindr, I also think it would be fun for us to have a normal date once in a while without being asked if I am a top or bottom before I even make the reservation on OpenTable. I’m not saying that you have to delete the app, just be more mindful. Ask the next guy you chat with some normal questions and maybe don’t start off the conversation off by asking for a dick pic.