Here’s Why You Should Live Your Life Not Giving AF What Other People Think Of You

Bianca Hofman
Bianca Hofman is a Dutch ultrashort-story writer, based in Barcelona, Spain. She writes super short stories about dating, culture and career. But who is Morris? Morris is Bianca’s imaginary muse, her yin, her alter ego, whatever you want to call him. "Y" means "And" in Spanish, in case you didn’t know. Yes, Bianca&Morris. Bianca has a passionate relationship with the city she lives in. Together with her sister she founded Barcelona Hofman, a flash fiction collaboration. The sisters launched Barcelona Hofman, May 2016, with an exposition during the open art gallery weekend in Barcelona. Facebook: Instagram: Twitter: @biancaymorris and @Bianca_Hofman

“You shouldn’t give a shit about what other people think of you, just follow your heart” — It’s a piece of advice people often give others.

But are you able to do the same for yourself?

I write, and I publish what I write. You might think I don’t really worry what people think of my stories, because I do what I love and still I share them for everyone to see.

Yes, I love writing, but there are moments when I struggle to write down what I want, questioning myself if I should share it because I am fighting the fear of judgement and rejection.

(Even right now, as I write this article, I have some doubts. Should I share my insecurities with you?)

Yes, I am aware that:

  • Being afraid to be criticized is an obstacle we face when trying to be ourselves and to do what we love to do.
  • Not everyone has to love nor understand you.
  • Feedback helps you grow.

You’re probably used to saying these kinds of phrases too, trying to help friends to feel confident and follow their heart. I completely agree with them. I know I need to share the things I write to realize my dreams.

Yet, it might help inspire others when they know that most of us do worry about what other people think.

It is not weak or weird to want to be loved.

Fear for rejection can block you sometimes and certain feedback (or lack of Instagram likes) can make you feel insecure. Harsh comments can hurt.

You know you shouldn’t care, but you do.

In a world that often seems to revolve around judgments, opinions, ratings, reviews, and social media likes, it can be hard to be yourself and do what you love without craving approval.

We are social creatures. It makes sense that we have a certain need for approval because we want to be part of a group.

Besides that, in many situations we need the approval of others, to make a living, pass an exam, etc. This then, makes it even more complicated and difficult to not be worried about opinions.

Last weekend, for example, I had to do the Kung Fu Flying Tiger Comes out of His Cave in front of 15 “black belts” judging. I have to admit that a very nervous flying tiger came out of her cave.

The good news is that I got my blue belt.

Being worried about judgement and rejection, the need to be loved, is normal. But it doesn’t have to stop you from being yourself and doing the things you love.

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