It’s Ok To Be A Single Female In Your 20s

Sonya Matejko is a writer who is vibrantly falling in love with life in NYC and around the world. Her writing is featured on a variety of high-profile platforms and niche blogs. Her most popular article has been shared over half a million times on Facebook alone. Sonya writes about the dating world as well as traveling the world. She founded her blog, Single Strides, as a home for hopeless romantics and wanderlusts. She believes passionately in love even if she hasn’t quite gotten it right just yet. Sonya steals lunch breaks and midnights to do all of this on the side of her full-time advertising career with the goal of inspiring others to believe in love and to believe in themselves.

So you find yourself single. You may love it, or you may be counting down the days until you’re no longer solo. All in all, you’re stuck with your own company and you’re trying to find out how to best get along with just yourself.

You painstakingly look back at your past relationships to analyze what you didn’t like about them, and what you didn’t like about yourself when you were with them.

You go back and forth between wanting to casually date, and wanting to just hang with the girls while drinking mojitos. You get incredibly jealous of your friend getting married, or you thank God that you’re still young, wild, and free.

You make your own decisions without having to run it by anyone, or maybe you miss having someone there to settle you down. Maybe you love having the bed to yourself, but maybe there are those nights that you just want to be held.

You may be this way, or that way, or somewhere in between, but the point of all this is… that you don’t need to be any certain type of way. There is no correct strategy for being single. There is no magic formula for how you should behave.

In all circumstances, you need to just do you, because that’s the best person you can be. 

So there are those nights that you want to flirt your way through every free vodka tonic. But there can be those nights when you don’t want to talk to a single human except the pizza delivery guy. And you know what? That’s okay.

It’s okay if you download, delete, download, and delete Tinder every now and then. It’s certainly okay if you’ve never even touched it. You may hate the entire idea of dating and giving up your precious time for anyone other than your best friend or yoga instructor.

So you fawn over the cute Facebook relationship statuses and Instagram pictures, or you get nauseated and keep scrolling down for the next cute puppy. So you ignore all the articles like this, and instead add a new city to your bucket list.

Whatever you’re doing in your single life is exactly what you should be doing. Because whatever is meant to happen, will. And whomever you’re supposed to meet (eventually) and fall head over heels in love with, will find you.

First you need to do you. You need to do it like you’re the most important person in your life – because you are. You don’t need to follow a single’s routine or fall into some stereotype with millions of dates or millions of cats.

Focus on the things that make you happy and not what society says should. Your friends might be having babies, but you’re just having a food baby with Ben and Jerry. Your friends might be buying houses and you’re just trying to figure out where your money went last weekend.

All I’m trying to get across is that we all deal with heartbreak, single life, bachelor life, and being-a-rock-star life differently. You may not understand the person fist pumping until 5am, and they may not understand you reading Nicholas Sparks instead.

We’re unique and that’s why we all find someone to fit our dismantled traits.  So build yours. Embrace yours. Discover yours. Don’t wish you were in someone else’s shoes, but live a life that rubs the soles of your shoes off from that much happiness.

So you find yourself single. What’re you going to do next?


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