Everything You Need To Know From The News This Week

The Bachelor: Republican Edition. Ben (Republicans) can’t see how crazy Olivia (Trump) is, and the girls that are there for the right reasons (Cruz, Rubio, and Kasich) are so busy fighting for attention, but they can’t seem to catch Ben’s eye. It all goes down today, in this week’s gist:

Republican Establishment wants Trump trumped but doesn’t know who to back:

  • Trump has won 3 states in a row; even Alicia Keys thinks this guy is on fire.
  • In Thursday’s debate, the Republican establishment was really looking for someone to back.
  • Jeb Bush dropped out of the GOP race, which wasn’t necessarily a surprise, but was definitely a blow to Republicans.
  • So what’s the problem? Cruz has actually beat Trump before, but the Republicans just aren’t feelin’ him. They do like Rubio, but his numbers aren’t very promising. And they also like Kasich, but his numbers ain’t no thang either.
  • This upcoming Tuesday is referred to as “Super Tuesday,” meaning 12 states will decide who they want to represent their party. And that, my friends, is a big day for whoever wins the primaries.
  • Oh, and P.S. Ben Carson is still keepin’ on.

 

Senate won’t vote on Obama’s nomination for Scalia replacement:

  • Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died unexpectedly last week.
  • It is the president’s duty to appoint a replacement, but Congress needs to approve.
  • Because the Senate is majority Republican, they’ve pretty much already decided that they won’t like anyone Obama appoints. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said Tuesday, “I don’t know how many times we need to keep saying this: The Judiciary Committee has unanimously recommended to me that there be no hearing. I’ve said repeatedly and I’m now confident that my conference agrees that this decision ought to be made by the next president, whoever is elected.”
  • In muggle terms, the Senate is certain that whoever is elected as the next president will definitely make a better nomination to replace Scalia than Obama. Harsh.
  • Plot Twist: Hillary Clinton has been asked a few times if she would ever consider nominating Obama to replace Scalia after his term as president. Her reply was “not a bad idea.” To be continued…

 

Obama and his baby, Putin, are coming together:

  • Syria is in the midst of a civil war, FYI.

  • And on Monday, Russia and the US called for a ceasefire. Don’t get your hopes up, though; a ceasefire has been ordered before but…let’s just say it’s much easier said than done.
  • So what’s the problem? the US backs moderate rebels, who fight President Assad (who is backed by Russia and Iran).
  • ISIS and other terrorist organizations have been taking serious advantage of Syria during its turmoil. This ceasefire is not to be confused for complete peace. Both sides have been ordered to stop fighting each other, but not against ISIS.
  • Both Obama and Putin hope that humanitarian aid can get into Syria to help, as they are in absolutely dire need.

 

Why you should be worried about the Zika Virus:

  • You don’t live in Brazil or South America. You’re not pregnant. You’re not trying to get pregnant. You’re not even really worried about possible long-term effects. But wait! It’s pretty clear the virus is sexually transmittable.
  • This week, the CDC started investigating whether or not the Zika virus cases were sexually transmitted. And, according to the CDC, apparently the virus lives longer in semen than blood. Yikes.
  • Although the biggest concern is infant abnormalities, 1 in 5 of those infected are ill themselves. Stay tuned for breakthroughs on the virus, as we are just now getting the extensive research.

 

Bill Cosby could really be in the doghouse now:

  • You know that law that gets rich husbands off the hook in every other CSI episode? The one that doesn’t require spouses to testify against each other? Welp, that kind of went out the window on Monday.
  • Although there is a statute of limitations on rape and sexual violation cases, Cosby is being prosecuted under a case of defamation.
  • Cosby’s wife of 50 years was questioned by lawyers in a deposition behind closed doors.
  • To clarify, under Massachusetts’s law, spouses cannot be forced to testify against their spouse in criminal cases. However they can be urged to comply in civil cases.
  • It is still unclear whether her deposition was harmful or helpful to Cosby’s case, but her cooperation is huge for spousal rights.

 

In case you needed a good laugh, here are a few Campaign Fails

  • Much like our favorite blooper reels, here are some highlights from candidates’ epic burns.
  • A lovely tweet was removed from Bernie Sander’s official twitter account this week.

  • Yea… you’ll notice those were all nouns.
  • Ted Cruz has also been criticized for starting and spreading campaign rumors (AKA lies). After many denials, the man had to fire his communications director.

 

Damn Dan- SHUT UP!:

  • If you’re alive, I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “Damn Daniel.” Even Ellen brought these trend-setters on her show:

  • “What is happening and how can I stop it?”
  • Basically, you can thank Snapchat for this new sensation. Some kid in high school posted a Snap once a day saying “Damn Daniel” in a weird voice, pointing out Daniel’s Vans and accompanying outfit.
  • A compilation of the Snapchats was put on Youtube, and had 45 million views (and counting) in a matter of days.
  • Cue head-scratching, because this is an actual story.

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