Eat As Much Avocado Toast As You Want: A Response To Tim Gurner

Skela is a songstress, poet and writer doin' her thang in NYC. She's set to release new music this June 2017 along with parallel projects that will carve out her unique creative path. Keep up with her on Spotify: // Instagram: // Tumblr: 

You may have recently watched or heard about an insane video circulating the internet about some rich generation x’er telling you the reason you’re not successful yet is because you eat too much avocado toast. First off, yes I’m turning the word generation x’er into an insult in this specific circumstance because they seem to be joining in on the delusion that millennials’ lack of funds is entirely our fault.

It’s a case of sophomoritis shoving freshmen’s into locker with a dash of passing the buck and a sprinkle of Shaggy’s “wasn’t me,” if you know what I’m saying. Second, go ahead and eat that avocado toast because you work damn hard and if avocado toast is the only thing that keeps you from jumping off a bridge then order some guacamole for lunch while you’re at it.

“I am a millennial. Hear me roar,” she says with one fist in the air and a burning bra in the other. Oh yeah, and I’m a “crazy feminist.”

Go ahead and f**king judge me. Let me tell you a bit about myself that I never show on the internet. I’m pursuing a career in music and writing. I’ve already felt the cosmic ripple of waves conjured by the thousands of eyeballs rolling. I’m following my dreams and taking a chance. Sue me. I went to high school, graduated with a Bachelor degree, started working full-time at a media group at 20, and moved out of my parents house by 21. I’ve done everything right and now I’ve decided it’s time be brave and do something for myself.

“I am a millennial. I’m a babysitter, a cat-sitter, a part-time social media coordinator, an occasional PA, an aspiring musician and writer. Hear me roar.”

I work damn hard and I still have time to keep up with the latest meme trends and click-bait articles. I’m trying to do something special while I’m at it. I do it for myself — not for the housing market, not for the bosses that underpaid me and overworked me, not for the society that told me I should be a sweet little girl, go to college to work a job that would allow me to pay for mythological family and mortgage.

Yesterday, I was sitting at a job interview with a woman who lived in a beautiful apartment in Carroll Gardens who runs a cat-sitting company. She asked a ton of questions, I guess trying to gauge if I was a serial killer and enjoyed torturing animals. Fair probing. I told her all about my schedule, what I do to make a living, my goals in life, all that fun stuff I usually keep off social media. She said, “I can tell just by your personality and all of this work you do that you are going to make it one way or the other. No matter what happens. But I mean you’re already successful. You’re already a success. You know that, right?”

I was stunned. I almost dropped to my knees and started crying there into the fur of one of her three cats. It was a real life human over the age of thirty sitting in front of me telling me that I wasn’t already a complete failure because I didn’t own a home.

We are constantly bombarded with the idea of mediocrity being the key to happiness. They berate us with their insufferable whining because their system broke. Look at the state of our country, of our world. They did that. Not us. We just got here for goodness sake! Some of us aren’t even out of college and they’re telling us that we’re the problem? I call bullshit.

We are the solution.

We’re going to fix this country no matter what they say about us or how hard they try to put us in the holes they dug. We’re going to be the ones who turn the economy around in innovative and inclusive ways. We’re going to teach our children about taxes, equality, intersectional feminism, gun control, global warming, ocean conservation, everything that we should have learned throughout the years of turning textbook pages in classrooms. We are going to change the world, we are going to do it with avocado and there’s not a goddamn thing anyone can do about it.

Skela out.