Batman vs. Superman: There Is One Indisputable Winner, Here’s Why

Becca Van Sambeck
Becca is a recent Fordham grad, a former German beer hall girl, and a new Brooklyn resident who used to read the dictionary for fun as a kid. She has only gotten slightly less lame since then. She loves pugs, chicken fingers, reading and Game of Thrones.

Some people live for superhero movies, and others can take them or leave them. With Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice coming out this weekend, though, you’ll find superheroes dominating pop culture conversation. Maybe you’re not a superhero aficionado yourself, but you still want to have a preference in this big ole rumble. Don’t worry though, we’ve broken down which hero is actually the TRUE winner.

 

Round 1: Costumes

The Superman costume is iconic — bright blue and red, with that “S” you used to draw all over your grade school notebook. Yet, Batman’s getup is an actual costume — there’s no mistaking the fact that he modeled himself after an actual bat. And at least he has a mask, so it’s somewhat plausible people wouldn’t realize his real identity.

Also the fact that Superman just takes off his glasses and is instantly unrecognizable is the grandfather to the trope of “nerdy girl removes glasses and ponytail and is instantly hot.” You probably have friends who wear glasses. When they wear glasses you’re not like, “What are you doing trying to hug me stranger?!” and trying to get away from them before realizing it’s your best friend, Katie, are you? No, because glasses literally do nothing to disguise your face.

Advantage here goes to Batman for understanding a costume is essential to maintaining a secret identity.

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Round 2: Powers

Batman actually doesn’t have superpowers. He’s just super strong and has a bionic suit, along with a ton of cool gadgets. His main power, it would seem, is being really, really rich.

Compare that to Superman, whose basically invincible. He’s super strong, super fast, and can heal quickly. Oh yeah, and he can fly.

There’s no question here: Superman wins for actually having the legit powers we all dream of (although I wouldn’t say no to unlimited wealth, fine.)

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Round 3: Personality

And here is the most important question of them all: Which dude would you rather grab a drink with?

Superman is kind, good-hearted and always wants to do the right thing. He also seems hella boring, as too-good people usually are. Bruce Wayne might be kind of a moody asshole, but he’s also pretty charming. He seems to have a little more fun with a better sense of humor than Superman, who is a literal alien that doesn’t totally understand human customs.

We’re gonna have to go with the charming asshole over the boring good guy if we’re picking who we’re hanging out with tonight.

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WINNER:

Batman, duh. It was a close race, but even though they’re superheroes, they’re more fun if they’re a little bit more complicated. That being said, Superman still gets kudos for being able to fly. And being Henry Cavill. That’s one perfect jaw.

Source :

krrish, giphy, giphy

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