Are You Choosing To Be Alone Or Letting Yourself Be Lonely?

Jay Cross
“Far worse looking people have done it. So why can’t I?” Jake is a 22-year-old delicious man candy originally from New York and currently living in Miami Beach attending law school. He graduated from the University of Florida in 2014 and used his degree to invest in a Toyota Prius. More information about his Prius can be found on his Instagram handle: “hotguyinaprius”. He drives an Uber part time because lawyers only get paid in movies. Jake doesn’t drink often, but when he does, he prefers it be consecutively for a potentially infinite duration. Jake often drinks.

There’s a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. You could say that being alone is more of a choice (like that one time I was peer pressured to poop in a urinal during a very crowded happy hour, I sort of chose my own fate) while being lonely is more of a disposition.

Questionable happy hour decisions aside, between Facebook, Instagram and all of these convenient forms of communication, many of us are never truly alone anymore. We hardly get real opportunities to just shut everything off and bathe in our own thoughts and observations. I promise I’m not going to try and convince you to go a month without using social media or something inspiring like that. I guarantee you if I had to do that and then write an article about it, it would go something like this:

My 30 days without Facebook

  • “lol, literally so stupid. I hated this. I didn’t meditate, I didn’t read books and I certainly did not make any new friends.”

Anyways, we all have at least one friend who needs to be texting someone at all times, or making plans or whatever. I suppose I admire the congeniality, but it’s sort of stressful. You know, that need to constantly be engaged in some sort of communication, whether it’s with some chick you met on Tinder or, yeah, or something else.

While that friend represents the extreme, many of us have this fear of being alone. I don’t know if it’s because we think it will last forever or maybe because we like to smoke and drink so much that we’d prefer it just not be alone. For whatever reason, we’ve stopped valuing the few moments a day we have to ourselves.

We document our gym workouts, our yoga sessions and our walks to work. Stop that shit. Just relax. Listen to yourself breathe, or put your headphones on and just look around. Watch what’s happening, look at the sky, whatever you want. Just put your hands in your pockets, shut that fat mouth and try to enjoy it, whatever it is.

The most important decisions you’ll ever make will likely be done alone. The most crucial moments in your life you’ll likely experience alone. It won’t be documented, it won’t be shared, and it’ll just be for you. And that’s totally okay.

Don’t you guys have anything personal anymore? Don’t you crave moments that are truly your own and nobody else’s? Maybe you don’t need it, but you will. It’s important to have those memories in your archives. Those memories you always look back on, that really define who you are, that you don’t need to share with anyone.

I’m not talking about weird stuff, like when you black out and get in a cab and the last thing you remember is saying “Take me to Mondo Burger” and you black in 2 hours later and the driver says “Sir I can’t find Mondo Burger.”

Or when you cook a bunch of chicken fried rice for you and bae and ask for a “thank you” via BJ but she advises against it because of digestion and you advise in favor of it for the same reason and she reluctantly agrees and everything is going great and all of a sudden you hear a hiccup and it feels like she has 1,000 tongues and you have an extraordinary vision of yourself catching the Golden Snitch and just as you are about to celebrate, Penelope Cruz taps you on the shoulder, grabs your crotch and says “Nespresso” and then you open your eyes and realize bae has thrown up all over you.

Those are obviously moments you don’t share with anyone. But what I’m really referring to is like……oh who am I kidding, can’t really go on from here. I’m sorry.

 

 

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Feather Mag

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