Girls are constantly facing double standards.
Most often, these double standards are upheld by ever-so-confident man-boys with top of the line self-esteem that want women to give blowjobs with the lung capacity of an orca and have the hand-eye coordination of Bob Dylan on the guitar AND harmonica (shit’s unbelievable — Google it), but simultaneously have the sexual rolodex of a flat-chested ninth grader who got her braces a little too late.
How is that fair?
I guarantee that if you ask a guy why he thinks it’s wrong if a girl has had sex with a lot of people, or sex with people who they know, they’ll hit you with a “I don’t know, I guess it’s not my thing.” Maybe they’ll come up with some bizarre macho bullshit like, “You want to feel like you’ve earned something and are entitled to it” or a bunch of words strung together that, in actuality, have no real meaning or depth, i.e. “It’s all subjective and isn’t the typical, ‘ideal’ per sé scenario, specifically.”
I know this because I’ve asked an ex, whom I have the luxury of having as my editor and who gets off on hitting me with mind games that stir up my emotions just so, after I’ve made a valid argument, he can turn around and say, “Ah, there you go. Now write about it!”
But this is not Good Will Hunting, and no one is entitled to anything.
A woman having sex with a fair (“fair” being the fairest word I could think of) share of people (“people” because it’s 2015 and only you know the selection and variation of holes you are exploring) is her prerogative and anyone who measures her worth or who she is as a person by that number needs a wake up call.
So you, the guy, happen to know some of the people she’s had sex with. So what? Why does that matter? Does it make you feel like any less of a man that your girlfriend has had sex with people who you sit on a couch with and lose to in FIFA?
Sex IS an intimate experience, but an experience is something you learn and grow from, and no two are the same.
If you’re secure in yourself and your significant other gives you the respect and consideration in the relationship, is it fair to hold on to the past? She’s not holding on to you lasting only 3 1/2 minutes last week.
Bottom line is, it comes down to ego and maturity.
If you’re having trouble getting your little guy up because you keep seeing your boy’s face whenever she’s on top, or you’re asking yourself, “If I only thought of all the other dudes when I was doing doggy does that change things, y/n…” that’s not something to blame on her, but rather something to discuss with your therapist during your next session.
If you keep letting the past dictate the present, there’s not going to be a future. These are not revolutionary words I’m spewing to you guys, but I think we all need a little reminder. I can guarantee that half of you will walk away from this article thinking, “lol, that girl is definitely a whore,” but then you would have missed my point completely. Or proven it.