Hello baby girl,
I know that right now you are more focused on keeping daddy and me up at night rather than the success of your future, but I’m focused on it. As I will eventually explain to you in some way that makes sense to a toddler, my mother passed away when I was only 12 years old. She never got the chance to see me grow into a woman. I never got the chance to hear her motherly advice on so many things I wish I would have been able to ask her about. So, instead of waiting for the future, here are a few things I want you to know and remember about becoming a woman in this world.
1. Be Yourself
If there is anything I’ve learned over the years, it’s that being yourself is the most important part of being a strong, good woman. If you are true to yourself, you’ll never be unhappy, remorseful, or disappointed in yourself or your decisions. Knowing yourself as a woman and as a person in general will help you to lead a more fulfilling life.
2. “Keep your head, heels and standards high.”
I actually live by this Lola Stark quote. Keep your head up and never let the haters see you cry. Keep your heels high and feel the confidence boost as you command all eyes in the room. Keep your standards high, relishing in the fact that you’ll always get what you deserve.
3. Women should be seen and heard
If you’re anything like your mother, you’ll be told you’re too bold, too loud, and too opinionated for your own good. You’re not too anything. People who say that are trying to silence you and control your power by shutting down your voice and your ideas. Never let anyone deny you the right to say what you think. Always be honest and clear about what you want and how you feel. Don’t be afraid to ruffle a few feathers. The best women in history were habitual feather rufflers.
4. You, and you alone, are in control of your body
Never let anyone, man or woman, force you to do anything you don’t want to do. This goes for sex, drugs, skydiving, anything! Men and women may try to pressure you into allowing them to get closer to yo, or touch you in ways that make you uncomfortable. They’ll try to downplay their actions, calling you uptight or prude. Ignore them, or even better, stop talking to them all together. Your body is yours and yours alone and no one has the right to touch, kiss, rub, tickle, massage, slap, or do anything that you don’t want to happen.
5. Don’t compete with other women for the affection or attention of another man or woman
Women spend too much time worrying about being prettier, funnier, and sexier than the next woman, all for the attention of someone else. It’s pointless. To the right person, there will be no competition when it comes to you. Anyone before that is just a distraction, and the only time you should compete with other women is for that college scholarship, your dream job, or sports.
6. Never let anyone stand in the way of your dreams
You may find yourself having to choose between the opportunity of a lifetime and a relationship. Take the opportunity. The right relationship will be the right relationship, from five feet away or 5000 miles, but you will never be able to shake that “what if” feeling if you pass up a chance of a lifetime. The right person will support your decision.
Baby girl, I hope all of these things help you to be as happy as possible in life. There will be haters — the people who want to keep you down. People who think you aren’t important, intelligent, useful, or clever just because you are a woman. But baby girl, you are all of these things and more, in a beautiful little package, and I am so very proud to be your mom. I can’t wait to see the woman you grow up to be, and to bug you with my motherly advice for the rest of my life.