5 Ways To Shut Up Your Inner Jealous B*tch

Bianca Hofman
Bianca Hofman is a Dutch ultrashort-story writer, based in Barcelona, Spain. She writes super short stories about dating, culture and career. But who is Morris? Morris is Bianca’s imaginary muse, her yin, her alter ego, whatever you want to call him. "Y" means "And" in Spanish, in case you didn’t know. Yes, Bianca&Morris. Bianca has a passionate relationship with the city she lives in. Together with her sister she founded Barcelona Hofman, a flash fiction collaboration. The sisters launched Barcelona Hofman, May 2016, with an exposition during the open art gallery weekend in Barcelona. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/biancamorris.hofman Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/biancaymorris/ Twitter: @biancaymorris and @Bianca_Hofman

Fun fact: I stormed out of a costume party once because my boyfriend at the time was dancing with Catwoman who had a tail and perfect body.

When I was six, my mom bought us cute hair barrettes with cats on them. My sister got the pink ones, I got the red ones. I was completely appalled at this blatant act of injustice – pink was MY favorite color – so I snuck into my sister’s room like a young vigilante with a pair of scissors, because I was jealous.

Of course my parents found out and talked to me about my actions. I was six. I still had to learn.

These days, I have to confront myself when I have the slightest feeling of jealousy.

Being jealous once in a while is normal, but we can’t let our inner jealous bitch take over our lives. I won’t say I never feel jealous, but it’s been pretty quiet the last couple of years.

In most situations, acting on the feelings of jealousy don’t help us at all. To the contrary, out of control jealousy causes conflicts, ruins relationships and makes you a bitter person.

So, I’ve figured out how you can make your inner jealous bitch shut up.


1. Admit You Are Jealous

Jealousy tends to disguise itself — as being angry, controlling, suspicious, gossiping, etc. So, let’s be honest here…is that badly dressed, attention-seeking drama queen really trying to steal your man? Did your colleague really get that amazing job because she slept with the boss?

Have the balls to admit when you are jealous. It’s OK. You are not perfect.


2. Breath In, Breath Out

When the feeling hits you, first just take a couple of deep breaths. Imagine your feelings are attached to your breath and that they will leave your body when you exhale. It might sound a bit vague, but breathing can really help save you from doing stupid things.


3. Get To The Root Of The Problem

Try to figure out why you are jealous. It can be caused by insecurity, experiences from the past, or a variety of other reasons. Maybe you and your lover never talked honestly about setting boundaries. Work it out, what is it that makes your inner jealous bitch blow up?


4. Don’t Act On It

Just because you feel jealous doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Realize that jealousy is simply another thought and it doesn’t have to be reality. You have the choice to do something with it or not. So, think twice before you post a picture of your drunk colleague – with the caption “look our slutty new manager!” – on Instagram.


5. Stop Comparing

It can be complicated, but don’t compare yourself to others constantly. Focus on your own life instead of gossiping and envying the life of others. Count your blessings. Do you feel the need to compare? Try to learn from people then, instead of envying them. And keep in mind that everyone has struggles you can’t see.


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