It’s normal to have a bit of anxiety before meeting someone new, especially if it’s in a romantic setting. The dating pressure that many of us feel before going on a date is rather silly when you think about it – I mean, the whole point is to find someone who likes you, normal you. That being said, we still get scared. We spend money on new clothes, drown our bodies in perfume, and plaster on a fake face all in the name of first impressions. While the best advice is always to be yourself, here are a few extra tips on how to make that terrifying first date flourish into something more real, and a little bit less traumatic.
1. Keep some things to yourself
if the date is going well and you’re really into each other, that’s great! But keep in mind that part of the fun in the beginning is a little mystery. If you tell your date everything they will ever need to know about you in the first 30 minutes, you’ve spoiled all of the surprises. Not to mention, they’ll probably be a little overwhelmed. I’m not suggesting you be standoffish, but it never hurts to leave a few things to the imagination.
2. Keep it cool
Yes, it’s very exciting that you’re being taken out to dinner, but don’t let that turn you into a nervous wreck. It sounds cliché, but try to be yourself. If you are trying to act like someone you think that he or she will like, it’s usually pretty transparent. People aren’t that stupid, they can tell when you aren’t being genuine and when you’re uncomfortably trying too hard to sell a certain image.
3. Ask, don’t tell
It is so much fun to talk about yourself. We all love doing it. But you and I both know that there is nothing more attractive than a person who asks about you because they are genuinely curious. If you spend the whole date talking about yourself, your family, your accomplishments and beliefs, they will spend most of the time counting down the minutes until the waiter brings the check.
4. Don’t get caught up in the expectations
This is something we all do daily that makes life very hard to enjoy. If you expect them to act exactly a certain way, you will be disappointed and they will assume that you’re a control freak. Just go with the flow! It’s fun to get to know people; if you allow yourself, you often end up learning something new. Embrace this experience rather than dreading it. Side note – people do not want to feel pressured to do anything. Being overly controlling can definitely get in the way of a second date.
5. Don’t be afraid to get a little flirtatious
There’s nothing wrong with letting your date know that you had fun. Flirting adds excitement and fun to any relationship. Remember, the whole experience is for fun and by choice. If they make a joke, laugh. If they compliment you, say thanks. Just because you aren’t completely falling for them in one night doesn’t mean you can’t let those walls down just a little.
At the end of the night, there is a chance that you may not be interested in this person. But you might as well try and make the best out of this opportunity and put your best foot forward to ensure that second date when you want it!