Who ever said being a popular 20something with varied friend groups was easy? It’s hard out here for those of us who are #blessed with lives full of brunch dates and bar crawls. When you live in the city that never sleeps, how can you possibly ever actually WANT to sleep? You should want to spend hundreds of dollars per weekend on the same activities you did the weekend before, and before that, and before that. But hey, sometimes, you just don’t feel like seeing certain people. Sometimes, you may want to cook for yourself instead of eating out. Sometimes, you may want to stay in on a Friday. And you know what? Apparently, that’s NOT okay.
So, to solve that problem, here are some surefire ways to help you get out of those dreaded plans, while still keeping up your cool factor within your social circles. You can thank me later.
1. “Ugh, I have a family event I can’t get out of”
Like say, a baptism. Or a bar/bat mitzvah. Or simply that your parents are forcing you to attend religious services, which will take up the entirety of your weekend. Nobody can question this, because they may offend you, and also because nobody likes bringing up religion. This is a definite way for your friends to simply accept that you won’t be making it out without asking any further questions. I’ve used it many a times (for actual true situations) but regardless, it works like a charm.
2. “I don’t feel well at all”
Do you want to know if you have true friends who care about your well-being? Tell them you’re not feeling well before a plan is supposed to happen, and see how they react. Many times, they may tell you to suck it up! “It can’t be that bad!” But screw those friends, because your “health” matters more than their measly plans with you. Stay in, drink a cup of tea, and binge “Master of None” on Netflix. Before you know it, you may actually come down with a real cold, and by then, this excuse won’t work anymore.
3. “I have to work super late, like allllll weekend”
This excuse will get you some major sympathy votes and perhaps even a free drink for when you actually want to go out. Your friends will think, “Poor little guy/gal, working so hard on the weekend, when all I did all week was work FOR the weekend. What a trooper.” Meanwhile, you’re stuffing your face with chips and guacamole while perhaps seeing a movie alone. A real trooper indeed…
4. “I have a date” (bonus points: works for both singles and couples)
If you’re in a relationship, your friends already expect you to constantly be pulling out of plans. “Oh, I gotta hang with bae tonight. We haven’t seen each other in days.” Who cares if your single friends hate you for this, they’re just jealz. If you’re single, having a date means that you must devote all your time to stalking the person, stalking the location, and preparing your ensemble. The only issue is that your friends will ask far too many questions, and will most likely want to see a picture. Lucky for you, choosing a current Bumble match, and then saying you were ghosted is so common nowadays no further questions will be asked.
5. “Whoops, I haven’t checked my phone in hours!” (bonus points: my battery died)
Unfortunately, this one is the least believable of the list, considering the fact that our smartphones are attached to us 24/7 and most make sure they are charged at all times. But, if you play it up well, say, every six months, it’s a worthy cause. We all have those horrid days where this occurs because we’re out gallivanting for far too long, so really, this excuse brings you cool points. You’ll have everyone thinking, “Oh wow, what a life he/she leads. So busy that their phone doesn’t even have time to get charged. If only they had time for plans with me…” Maybe next time, suckers.
Remember to use these excuses infrequently to make them more believable. Otherwise, you just may lose your friends altogether. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.