All the single ladies, (all the single ladies), put your hands up! Uh oh…oh, wait, nobody likes admitting they’re single, do they?
Being single can often cause you to down an entire box of chocolates as you watch rom-coms alone, wishing for a special someone to sweep you off your feet. But if you are, in fact, single, you shouldn’t fear, because authors Angela Spera and Laura Lane of the comedic dating guide “This is Why You’re Single” have set out to give you the humorous truths on the situations that surround our modern dating world.
The problem isn’t being single, but the modern dating landscape!
Spera and Lane walk us through our common dating grievances chapter by chapter and laugh by laugh, telling relatable modern-day dating fables paired with fun advice, quizzes and illustrations (“cuddle positions that will drive your man crazy” is a personal favorite).
Here are the 5 best pieces of advice they offer up for all of us struggling to find love in a hopeless place:
5. Recognize that you may be dating a man child.
Have you ever been on a date with someone whose usual at a restaurant is a Capri Sun instead of bottle of Merlot? Does his group of friends resemble the cast of “the Sandlot”? Does he describe the favorite part of your body as “Tit-tays”?
If so, you might just be settling for someone who sleeps in a bunk bed at his parents’ house (and at that point, you might as well just stay happily single). There are grown-ups with childish tendencies, and then there are man-children. Know the difference, and never enter into a relationship with the hopes of changing a person.
4. Text messages are confusing
Overthinking text messages can lead to incredible misunderstandings. Chances are, his “upcoming trip to Africa” is not a lie he’s saying just to avoid seeing you. And even though “men never use exclamation points while texting, so clearly he’s clearly trying to tell me something!!,” if he’s stating that he can’t hang out with you for the 10th time, it should be pretty easy to know what he means. (But, I mean, exclamation points!) And then there’s the added confusion of input from your best friend, since you’re clearly going to get her interpretation of those emoji-ridden texts.
But the point is, if you’re having such a hard time deciphering, you may have to re-evaluate the situation. The signs are usually clearer than you make them out to be.
3. Too many people are giving you advice
Do you often ask your mom, your best friend, your gay best friend, your therapist and your hairstylist (to name a few), for advice on the same dating situation? And despite the varying feedback, you probably follow through with your date with the opinions taken from each. Where does this leave you? Conflicted and confused, because instead of listening to your gut first and foremost, you’ve decided that everyone else around you must be right in some way.
Sticking to one or two opinions at most will get the job done, and keep indecisiveness astray.
2. You’re selling yourself short
In a lesson on salesmanship, this chapter describes how the same item can be made to sound wonderful or “heart-stoppingly awful.” For example, a George Forman grill knocks out all the fat! Or, you’re too lazy to use a real grill because you’re fat. (Is it bad that this is the example I relate to?)
Too often, women may sell their accomplishments too short and talk down about themselves to a potential mate, instead of utilizing their confidence to show just how great they really are. In essence, explaining the heart-stoppingly awful aspects of yourself isn’t doing your self-esteem any favors (nor is it fun for the person you’re trying to date).
1. You’re too worried about a timeline
You’re in a new dating situation, and you’ve just discovered that you need to start thinking about booking up some vacation days. You mention your dilemma to your hot new thang, unsure of whether you may need these vacation days for something else….like say, your wedding! Moving too fast? Never! You’ve had this timeline to get married by age 28 for years and this guy is good enough to make the cut (because making a timeline is clearly more important than finding a person worthy of being with for the rest of your life).
Let go of your control. It’s not worth it to rush solely to meet a timeline created in the past, and hey, you can always freeze your eggs! All the problems of the future are now solved. Take your time.
Although being single can often be seen as a negative, the “This is Why You’re Single” crew never makes you feel as if being “alone” is the worst part about your life, or that having a significant other is the best part. While finding humor in the ordinarily mundane dating world, the book succeeds in pointing out the often ridiculous pressures and struggles of trying to find love in the modern world.
If you’re looking for more advice (and laughs) to cope with your dating woes, you can purchase the book here! All the single ladies, put your hands up! (and keep ’em there)