If you’re reading this article, your relationship might be in one of two stages: Either it’s new and breezy and you’re still having fun without all the worries and responsibilities commitment brings, or you’re in a rut and you’re looking for a way to liven the staleness out of it (or you’re somewhere in between and just like to have fun). Either way, I have come upon this new philosophy — a couple that pranks together, stays together.
So, in honor of April Fools’ Day, I bring you 10 jokes to play on your significant other.
1. Fake a pregnancy
I know what you’re thinking: “How can I possibly pull this off?”
Easy — find a friend who’s pregnant (and whose pee you are willing to handle) and ask her to pee on a stick for you. If your partner is gullible, just deck out your place with banners and baby gear. When he walks in, yell “surprise” and let his imagination do all the trickery on your behalf.
2. Whoops, the condom broke
Don’t worry guys, I got you! When your lady is in a post-romp stupor, go to the bathroom and yell “OMG the condom broke!” and let her imagination make a fool out of her. You may not be ready for her more than emphatic reception of what this could mean for your relationship, so proceed with caution. This one could be dangerous.
3. If you’re looking to go a little less dramatic, add a little salt to Bae’s drink
This one’s simple, but if they love their scotch, they’ll temporarily hate you for ruining their drink. (If you’re not willing to ruin a perfectly good cocktail, try a fake roach in the drink instead.)
4. Make your lover think they’ve gone crazy
This requires some effort because you have to change several things around the house. You can switch the breakers on or off in sections of the house, change the order of the intimates in his sock drawer, or turn all her makeup brushes upside down. The key here is to make several, small, and subtle changes and then wait until the panic ensues.
5. Have the car stolen
No, I’m not talking insurance fraud; just pretend to have it stolen.
What you’ll need: Spare keys, mischievous friends and dinner plans. Slip your friends the keys when your partner isn’t paying attention and have someone excuse themselves to the bathroom during dinner and move the car to an alternate location.
6. Have your place robbed
I guess theft is just the easiest prank to play, and the meanest, if you ask me. Similar to prank #5, give a very trusted friend spare keys to your place and have them go in and ransack while you are both away. Be sure not to set any alarms, unless you’re willing to bail your BFF out of jail.
7. Fake an online car ad
This is way easier than you think. You will need the car’s VIN number, an email address, photos of the car, and a knack for describing vehicles to desperate buyers. Choose a price that seems cheap but reasonable; too cheap and no one will believe it, too expensive and no one will call. Larger ticket items require a bit more approval than anything you’d normally sell online, so be prepared to go through a thorough screening process before the ad goes live. Once it’s up, your significant other’s phone will be blowing up with calls and e-mails.
8. Change the time on all the clocks
Is Bae always late, leaving you in the depths of waiting despair? Today you get revenge. Change the time on all the clocks (don’t forget cell phone, laptop, and TV settings). When they ask you to confirm the time, be sure not to flinch. When utter panic shows on their face, you’ll know they have fallen for it.
9. Ruin all personal hygiene products
Switch out hand sanitizer for shampoo, mayonnaise for lotion, or water for contact solution. Just choose your substitutes cautiously, if the smell is too strong there is no way they’ll go unnoticed.
10. Become the unthinkable-the catfish we all fear
Think about it, you already have access to a plethora of personal information, incriminating photos, and the internet. Just create a fake account and start adding friends (including yourself) sporadically throughout the day. It won’t be long before bae calls you mid-existential crisis threatening to contact the FBI.
Caution: once something is posted in the online world, it can spread like wildfire, so choose what you post mindfully.
I must warn you. For these, or any jokes, to work without overworking your love, you have to really know your partner. I knew the baby subject was way too sensitive in my relationship right now. So although it was enticingly appealing to play this super easy prank on my boo, I opted not to. In your relationship, it may be that financial topics are a no-go or your partner’s tolerance for food-related play isn’t as high as your tolerance. Either way, you have to really know your limits. There is a very fine line between playing and getting played, and no one likes to feel toyed with.
Keeping that all in mind, happy pranking!